Monthly Archives: January 2012

The extraordinary and perhaps bewildering power of Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres has a power Oprah only wishes she had. Oprah who has turned herself into a brand in order to win the favour of Americans has less power than Ellen “Dori” The CoverGirl DeGeneres. Truth.

And here is my proof: Ellen can make you like almost anyone, whereas Oprah makes you mostly just dislike her. (Seriously, Oprah! You’re not a medical expert! Perhaps I’m unclear on the premise of a talk show, but it’s not really your opinion that matters, am I right, Oprah, the host?) Continue reading

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Reasons why my children will judge me

I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’ve come to the conclusion that my children will probably judge me for things in my past. I know this because I often find myself laughing at my mother’s ever-growing hair in the ’80s. Seriously, if it had gotten any larger, it would’ve eclipsed the sun. Continue reading

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How and Why Strangers Irritate Me: First Years Edition

I know some of you are probably thinking, “but, Hilary, you were a first year once and you probably did all the same things”. And wouldn’t that be ironic. Unfortunately, you’re wrong. I have never once worn my hair in a bun on the top of my head, so far forward that it’s practically on my forehead. Why do people think that looks good? I also have never worn leggings as pants, outside of an exercise class. Continue reading

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Cute stuff for a future apartment: the fuzzy blanket

I’ve started collecting cute stuff for a future apartment, that I have yet to rent. Before you show up at my door with the film crew from Hoarders, you should check out this stuff in my new running feature. Continue reading

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“Who knew that strippers could play baseball?” A post brought to you by The Bachelor

So here we are, watching The Bachelor with our good friend Cristina a.k.a. Cheetah Pet. As we watch, a few things come to mind almost immediately. For instance, was anyone really surprised when the helicopter made its first appearance? It’s over-played, Bachelor producers. We all saw it coming. You know what else we saw coming? Elyse’s early dismissal, let’s be honest. That was so obvious that it came around the bend in a sequin crop-top and tap shoes. Speaking of crop-tops, Blakely, pull your baseball shirt down. You’re coming off a little desperate. Or maybe you always wore crop-tops when you played baseball all through high school and college. You’re thirty-four, stop living in the past. Continue reading

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Terrible Television

Hi, my name is Hilary and I’m addicted to terrible television.

Now, I don’t mean those socially accepted terrible television shows like Jersey Shore or whatever Kardashian show is popular right now. I mean, weird shows that no one in North America watches apart from me. And sometimes my father. Continue reading

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How and why strangers irritate me: the sniffles edition

Everybody gets sick, some significantly more than others (yes, Jess, I’m talking to you!) but not everybody has to be excruciatingly annoying when they’re sick (and no Jess, I am no longer talking to you, don’t worry, you’re a gem.) This post is brought on by the fact that I have a cold today and I admit I am annoying. My eyes are droopy, my nose is runny and I am a bum. So I stayed home today from work, which is the adult thing to do, so I don’t get my colleagues sick, and so I don’t drive them out of their minds with frustration at my consistent sniffing. Continue reading

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Unbridled Honesty Freaks People Out.

I have learned a very important social lesson: unbridled, blunt, and incredibly direct honesty freaks people out. Maybe I should preface the bulk of this post by letting your now that I’m socially awkward. As I said to a friend at work “I’m not abnormal, I’m just awkward!” (Ok, perhaps I’m slightly abnormal, but who isn’t?) The majority of this awkwardness stems from me being highly critical and inclined to honesty which translates into dithering. Continue reading

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How and Why Strangers Irritate Me

When I’m at school and I have a break between classes, I like to go to the third floor lounge of the arts building, which, sadly, is orange and hotter than the centre of the earth, and do school work. Of course, this is assuming that I a) do not procrastinate, which happens frequently, and b) that other people do not distract me from work. A lot of the time, other people distract me with their general annoyingness, but there have been a few who have stood out throughout the years, which I admit, has not really been that long of a time frame. I will now proceed to list these people in order of annoyance. Not actually, because, frankly, that seems like a lot of work, but I will list them nonetheless. Continue reading

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In the beginning…

This whole idea started when we discovered that we have a lot of wisdom to share with the world. And by wisdom, we of course mean ranting. Ranting and cute finds from Joe Fresh. Have you ever been to that place? It’s like Eden for semi-Indie kids with no money. But we digress… Continue reading

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