I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’ve come to the conclusion that my children will probably judge me for things in my past. I know this because I often find myself laughing at my mother’s ever-growing hair in the ’80s. Seriously, if it had gotten any larger, it would’ve eclipsed the sun.
In any case, here follows a list of things my kids will laugh at me for:
1. I have become oddly addicted to animal jewelry. Perhaps this is weird. I’m sure that my children will look back at pictures of me when I was younger and seriously judge me. I have possum earrings. Well, I think they’re possums. They might actually be meerkats. Or squirrels. Or armadillos…
2. They will also probably mock me mercilessly for being born in the 1900s. Seriously, though, consider it. I was born in 1991. How old will that make me look to someone born in 2022? Really old.
3. My glasses. It’s not like I have Coke-bottle bottoms for glasses or anything, but I do have the kind of glasses that will quickly become old-fashioned. Kind of like Buddy Holly’s. My only hope is that they will come back in style sometime when my children are in their twenties and I’ll get the respect I so rightfully deserve.
4. I have some articles of clothing that will probably not be in style when my kids are old enough to tease me. Let’s be honest, we’ve all done this to our parents. My mother wore a lot of jumpsuits. They looked fabulous on her, but they were still jumpsuits. My father also had a nude-coloured bathing suit. There is no excuse for that one. Friends are scarred when I show them old family photos of us at the beach because they initially think my father is naked. That’s not okay.