Okay, PETA, before you get all up in my grill, let me explain. But before I do that, I would like you all to continue reading this post with a comic book theme song playing in your head. Even as I sit here writing this, Julia sings, “Pigeon Puncher! Punching pigeons all day!”
When Julia and I went to London (England) last summer, we were amazed by the number of pigeons they have there. They have pigeons like Guelph has squirrels. If you don’t live in Guelph and thus don’t understand that comparison, let me just tell you that Guelph has A LOT of squirrels. And they’re crazy, too (nuts, if you will). They will take your half-eaten bagel right out of your hand and then stare you down angrily for not letting go of it sooner. Terrifying. But the pigeons in London are worse. They mill about everywhere like they own the place, trying to eat your scraps (now that I think about it, this is eerily similar to our golden retriever Sam). This is when Julia and I came up with the idea of Pigeon Puncher.
Pigeon Puncher is a superhero with the tag line “A villain to some, but a hero to most”. Essentially, he and his sidekick Pigeon Pincher, a plucky young girl with enthusiasm that knows no bounds (Julia: “Pigeon Pincher! Pinching all the pigeons!”), go around punching and pinching pigeons. I don’t know about you, but I find the image of someone punching a pigeon very entertaining. I fear that this makes me some kind of sociopath. Ah well, you win some, you lose some.