My brother recently pointed out to both Julia and I that we were hipsters. I refused to believe this, but the more I think about it, the more I think we might be just a little hipster-esque. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t own a beanie and the minute I buy a deer-printed sweater, I strongly encourage you to slap me. But, there are some things that I wear, listen to, and do that make me think that I perhaps might be a little bit of an accidental hipster.
For instance, my clothes and jewelry are maybe a little hipsterish. Like that bird shirt that I own or all the owl jewelry I wear. On second thought, maybe that doesn’t make me a hipster, but some sort of crazy bird lady, which is weird because I have never once owned a bird nor do I ever want to. And I strongly dislike pigeons. However, I do have boat wheel earrings and Buddy Holly glasses. But, in defense of the glasses, it is just a lot easier to see out of large lenses. I’m tired of having half of my vision obscured by thick, black frames, okay? Deal with it.
At the same time, I do listen to a lot of music that could maybe be considered hipster music. I like to think of it more as Indie music, but I digress. I also do that thing that hipsters do when they’re shocked and appalled that you don’t know the things that they know. “What? You’ve never heard of this obscure band that no one but me and my twelve friends like?” I do this less out of pretension and more because I think everyone should know who Dan Mangan is. Seriously, look him up.
On the other hand, I can say with absolute certainty that I do not have hipster hair. I have never shaved half of my head and I don’t ever plan to. It seems like a lot of work. And what do you when you want to grow it out? You’d have like a weird side mullet. Regular mullets are bad enough. And, as I have once famously said (okay, maybe not that famously), friends don’t let friends get mullets. EVER. I also don’t have an ironic mustache. I hope that I don’t have just a regular mustache either. Another thing I have famously said (but not actually out loud because I just made it up right now) is that friends don’t let their female friends have mustaches.