Monthly Archives: March 2012

This Guy Kills Me

My mother is a fan of Il Divo. Is that really a surprise? She loves that they enunciate while they sing. In any case, due to my mother’s love of O Sole Mio and enunciation, I have listened to many an Il Divo song. I have also seen a few videos. This one is the best.

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Holy Flying Crap Weasels

So I play sudoku during my classes at school (shh, don’t tell my mother) and, as such, I have a sudoku book. These books have the weirdest ads on the back of them, which seriously make me question who else is buying these books. What is the demographic? And please Lord do not let me be a part of it. Continue reading

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Literary Cruelty is the Best!

I have learned many things in my literary experiences at university. Well, I’ve learned some things, and most of them have to do with long-winded, super confusing literary scholars like Bhabha and Spivak. Don’t ever read that. Trust me, it’s not worth it and you definitely won’t understand. Wikipedia is your best friend. Continue reading

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This is a sure sign of the apocalypse

Guys. I think the world is coming to a Day After Tomorrow-esque end. I think this because everybody is pregnant and they’re all having boys. Now mothers, I know this isn’t your fault. Blame your partners. But seriously, three of my cousins had baby boys last year. My mum has taken up crocheting since retiring because she’s simply adorable like that and every baby blanket she has made recently has been a white and blue one. Yes gender norms are strictly enforced when it comes to crocheting. There are only going to be men in the future. This is not a scientific fact. I am not a scientist. But I think I might be onto something here. Continue reading

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You Are Not Who I Thought You Were

I sometimes have a hard time reconciling first impressions with the actually personality of the person. You probably have no idea what I’m talking about because you’re likely socially normal. I am not. So allow me to explain what I mean. Continue reading

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The biggest commitments

To those who know me it’s no secret that I’m a commitaphobe. I’m pretty sure the the ultimate commitment is having and raising children. That can’t be undone! Especially not in any socially acceptable way. Not even a little. Continue reading

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Jessica Simpson is Apparently Very Intriguing

I have learned something about all of you dear readers out there. And what I have learned is that you’re all obsessed with Jessica Simpson. Who knew? I certainly didn’t. You make one little comment about her being quite a large pregnant woman and suddenly people from the good country of Hungary (holla!) are reading your blog in search of whether or not she’s giving  birth to a whale. That’s perhaps not totally true, but someone did search “Jessica Simpson whale”, which does not point to anything kind. Continue reading

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The dentist: so expensive, so unpleasant

Arguably the very worst thing about growing up is having to pay for the dentist yourself. When you’re a kid and your parents drag you by your shirt into the office it’s simply unmitigated torture. You don’t go willingly, you have strange people shove their fingers in your mouth, and you’re not allowed to play with the toys in the waiting area because they’re veritable cesspools of germs. Continue reading

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The Voice: boy I wish this show was funnier

The Voice is pretty much the least hilarious show on tv, next to Criminal Minds which is just scary. I have to shampoo with one eye open from now on because I’m so afraid of home invasions. Anyways, It’s a challenge to make these posts funny, people. It’s not like The Bachelor; that stuff just writes itself. Continue reading

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Nothing says “springtime” like Jane Austen’s sass

Nerd alert! I'm talking books. Sassy excellent books.

When I was fifteen or sixteen my aunt Heather gave me Pride and Prejudice for my birthday. I read it that spring. At that age the novel seemed to be a really tediously told love story. Gosh Austen just seemed to blather on and on about really insignificant crap, but Mr. Darcy’s babe-ness and Elizabeth’s kick-ass character were still enough to keep me captive. Continue reading

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