That is not really a thing. Yet. I’m going to make it a thing. I have a friend, named Ed (who saw that coming?), who says hilarious and wise things. And because I think everyone should be able to bask in the glory of his comic genius and supreme cleverness, I will henceforth (oooh, check that fancy word out) share some of these so-called “Edisms” with you. You’re welcome in advance.
“Sarcasm without humour is just cruelty.”
“That’s like following a rainbow to the end in search of a pot of gold only to find New Jersey” [in regards to the ending of New Year’s Eve when Josh Duhammel ends up with Sarah Jessica Parker].
“On the plus side, I think I’ll find other jokes funnier now by comparison” [in response to a terrible joke].
“All my co-workers do nothing but complain about each other behind their backs. And I’m aware of the irony of this statement, so don’t bother pointing that out.”
“From now on I’m only referring to her as ‘New York Times bestselling author Snooki’ so that people know what our society has become.”
“The only time trivia served a practical purpose for me was when I impressed a girl at a party with it once. Girls love it when you know the capital of Kyrgyzstan.”
“ODB is proof that you can do anything you want if you set your mind to it. Which isn’t necessarily a good thing.”
What did I tell you?