We start off this special episode with Chris Harrison asking the viewers to please withhold our judgment. Nope, not a chance. In other hands, Ben has grown his hair out a little bit and now he also has a beard. Now he looks like Francine with a five o’clock shadow.
Ben shocks the audience by telling them that he and Courtney have broken off their engagement. But is anyone really shocked? And does anyone really care? No. Everyone is actually thinking, “well, it’s about time”. Then he and Chris Harrison start talking about the tabloid rumours. Ben dismisses these accusations by saying that none of it is true. Well, it’s a tabloid. Every tabloid everywhere is always talking about Brad and Angelina’s imminent break-up and also how she’s pregnant. She’s not Jessica Simpson, no one is pregnant for that long. The conversation ends with Chris Harrison saying that Ben and Courtney are weird. Yes.
And then Courtney emerges in a white, shiny, pleather dress. And people boo her. Then Chris asks her how it feels. Well, Chris, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good. On the plus side, she’s dropped the baby voice, so I won’t have to punch her in the face. So that’s nice. Courtney then talks about how it was so hard for her. AGAIN. I really wish she would stop that. We understand, okay? Can we move on now?
Courtney talks about how they were happy for a month after the finale. They were clearly in for the long-haul. And then she complains about how he didn’t even send her carnations for Valentine’s Day. Then she plays the martyr and talks about how she put in so much effort and he gave her nothing in return, which could very well be true, but I can’t help but dislike her. It’s partly the eyebrows, I won’t lie.
Ben then tells us that they’re in a good place and that they’re engaged, which is confusing to us, because he just said that they weren’t…I’m getting mixed messages, Ben! He then talks about it was hard for him to watch her say all those terrible things to the women because he’s a no-drama kind of guy. And then she reassures us that she’s a no-drama kind of girl. That’s a blatant lie!
Then we have to watch the proposal again. Did you not torture us enough the first time around? Ben cries, which is touching, but he looks a little bit like an Ewok. Chris Harrison holds out the ring and asks them what they want to do with it, which is still confusing, because Ben has told us that they were broken up and then engaged. But I guess they’re engaged for real now? I’m still not certain.
In case you missed or have forgotten some of the many, many charming things Courtney said over the season.