The Voice: Boy, I Wish This Show Was More Interesting…

The Voice became the #1 show of the season DUN DUN DUN. Live shows are a whole different ball game it’s up to America now!

Adam cut all his hair off, Cee lo is wearing… a wig and fringe??

In a change, Christina’s boobs are totally covered. Her eyes are likewise covered. Never have I seen more eyeshadow in my life. But you know what I am not sad to see go? That stupid CD facinator and her droopy right boob.

It’s team Blake vs team Christina

Jermaine:

He’s so beautiful how could he not procreate?
Just belts it out. Voice like whiskey. VERY intense

Chris:

Well Mum would just love him.
Also belts it out but in a VERY different way. No big deal.

RaeLynn:

“We’re going to punch America in the face with country”, says RaeLynn. Excellent.
It sort of seems like she’s just yelling half the time. She has a strange voice! Flat? Hard to say.

Moses:

He has back up dancers, who are fabulous and extremely entertaining. He, sadly, is not. 

On a different note, Betty White makes a guest appearance, which, frankly, is the highlight of the episode.

Naia:

She wants to do Turning Tables in a reggae way…no. Don’t do that. She’s very breathy.                                                                                                 Christina continues to rag on all of Blake’s team members. Great. She’s super nice.

Lindsey:

Rocking the half-shaved head, we see. Christina says things like “that’s dope” and it annoys me. She also has back up dancers, and they’re in creepy masks as she sings “Somebody That I Used to Know”. Oh, I’m sorry. They’re actually really creepy masks. My mistake.

Jordis:

She’s a punk-rocker, which automatically means that it’s okay for her to wear a fur coat. She’s wonderful and very talented. She belts things out like you wouldn’t believe. She has the lung capacity of Beyonce and Michael Phelps combined. Impressive.

Sarah:

She’s singing the most irritating song in the world. Thanks for that, Drake (a.k.a. Wheelchair Jimmy). Now the male back up dancers are topless. We’re not complaining.

Erin:

We find out this episode that Erin’s father passed away during the battle rounds. I just got choked up. In other news, she’s fabulous. And she has gorgeous hair. Did we already say that? Probably. It’s really nice.

Ashley:

She was good, but kind of boring. Adam says she’s the most improved, and we’ll have to take his word for it, because I admit that I did not really watch most of that.

Charlotte:

She’s good and has a fancy dress on. She also has a troupe of string instruments behind her, which is neat. You heard me. Neat. In a rare moment, Christina is nice to Charlotte.

Jesse:

He sings “What a Wonderful World”, which is a risky venture, but he pulls it off. He also enunciates. Mum would love him as well. Christina told him not to hold back, and boy did he not. Holy. He’s just great. Both Cee Lo and Adam tell him that he’s the guy to beat. He really is.

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