I say a lot of things that are, frankly, made up. Not only are they made up, but they have been created in my tortured mind, which adds a whole other component of ridiculousness. Because of this, there is a large possibility that you do not know what a “flying crap weasel” is and, really, why would you? That sounds like a horrible thing that no one would ever want to experience. I get it.
But I digress. I will now proceed to list such inane things for your benefit. You’re welcome.
Holy flying crap weasels:
A phrase of incredulity. It is used to express complete shock and awe, such as “Holy flying crap weasels, that doll has ‘RealTouch‘ vinyl skin and it’s freaking me out.”
This is used to describe something particularly difficult or tiring. For example, when working on a particularly excruciating group project, one might say something like “Okay, let’s figure this crap donkey out.” (Side note: group projects are THE WORST).
Taken from the popular Beach Boys song Help Me, Rhonda, this saying quite literally means “help”. For example, “Rhonda! I’ve fallen over this enormous ficus and can’t get back up again!”
Cripple foot is an unfortunate situation that occurs the morning after you’ve been walking for twelve hours. It’s incredible pain in the balls of your feet accompanied with the sneaking suspicion that you will never quite be the same again.
This does not, as one might think, have anything to do with fire. This is a creation all of Julia’s own. It is her special was of saying lame. But with an “f” at the beginning. I’m not sure why exactly, but it is really catchy.
This is courtesy of my hilarious friend Heather. Isn’t it wonderful? It is an expression of anger or shock. For instance, if you encountered a live goat at the supermarket, one might say “Shiza Minelli! That live goat is eating my unpurchased pineapple!” If you stubbed your toe forcefully into one of your mother’s many, many end tables, you might also say “Shiza Minelli, that smarts! I think I’ve developed cripple foot!” (See what I did there? Clever, no?)
Oh my Lanta! :
This gem was actually taken from my good friend Emily. Basically, it means “Oh my gosh!”, but really, Lanta is more fun to say. Try it sometime.