I’m slowing tearing through my room at home because I’ve got an apartment that I’ll be moving out into shortly. It’s time my friends. In any case, as my mother can attest, I’m not an advocate for cleaning anything ever. Why clean something today when you can wait until your dust becomes 3-dimensional? However, this experience is bringing me true joy. You don’t realize just how much stuff you accumulate over time until you have to go through it all. I’ll share with you the highlights in case you don’t likewise feel like going on a veritable archaeological dig in your own bedroom. I don’t blame you, it’s exhausting.
1. Masses of birthday cards. I’m not sure why I’ve kept so many over the yeas, but I lord I’m happy that I did. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA. YOU’RE OFFICIALLY 12!” Ha! And why did everybody always sign things “Your friend” in the 90s? It’s excessively formal and Quaker-ish. “Lots of love: Your Friend Susan.” Righto, thanks Susan. I’m glad you qualified our relationship. I almost got confused.
2. Embarrassing cartoons. Growing up I drew all the time, and I just uncovered piles of giant-headed, doe-eyed cartoons with TERRIFYING 90s/early 2000s fashion. I actually drew visors on the boy cartoons, à la N Sync because that was cool back then. But that’s not even the worst of it. I drew – willingly drew – a poncho on one poor unsuspecting cartoon girl. A PONCHO!
3. Accomplishment cards, without dates. I have so many “We’re so proud of you Julia!” cards from my parents, because I am extraordinary, it has to be said, all without dates or much frame of reference. I think I can determine the big milestone ones (graduating high school – not that it was especially shocking that I would – and university) but the rest I’m not quite sure. All I know is that my parents love me a whole lot and celebrated quite a few things that I did. I’m not sure what they were but I’m pretty sure I must be awesome.
4. Friendship bracelets. Does anybody else think that embroidery floss friendship bracelets was perhaps a bad system? When I was growing up everybody made them at recess and had stacks of them on each wrist. You could also buy them at all the shops at the beach, but that was a blatant rip-off. In any case, I have a billion and I’m not sure who’s everlasting friendship they’re supposed to signify. Fail.
5. Awkward high school photos. My friends are incredibly gorgeous, but you have to understand that these photos were taken on disposable cameras. ON FILM. Yes. Before the mass-advent of digital cameras and before iPhones were even conceived of. I have very many wonderful close-eyed, open-mouthed hilarious photos from high school.
6. Quotes. I went through quite a phase where I would jot down hilarious quotes that anybody and everybody would say. I honestly can’t repeat most of the ones my professors in university would say to us (does anybody else remember Keefer? Filthy mouth.) but there was one I found from my ballet teacher, and friend, Sheila. “Dear Lord, please give Julia some pliés.” I don’t think the prayer worked Sheilz, as hilarious as it is.