Justin Bieber Trampled By a Herd of Wild Chinchillas

I bought an OK magazine the other day that had a headline perhaps just as misleading as the one above (so, to answer your question thirteen-year-old girl, no, Justin Bieber was not actually trampled by chinchillas). The title of People’s April issue was “My First Days as a New Mom”, which was accompanied by a giant photo of Jessica Simpson. Below, there was another, albeit smaller picture, of Jessica Simpson with a baby. This is very misleading, no? They have clearly made it seem like she has had her baby and is now sharing what her first days have been like. Blinding, if the photo at the bottom is to be believed. The baby looks exactly like Mr. Potato-Head. Only less lively.

"They can't wait for another baby"? They haven't even had the first one!

In any case, the point of their misleading title was clearly to rope unsuspecting people like me into buying their crap magazine. Trust me, it’s a really boring issue. Apparently Ashton Kutcher and Rihanna were dating and we’re supposed to believe that he dumped her. HAH! As if. I would never dump Rihanna. She could probably crush my skull between her thighs. She’s also far more attractive than Ashton Kutcher, especially since he has decided to grow hair like the bassist of Maroon 5.

I don't think I ever really knew what the rest of this band looked like, apart from Caveman Joe on the right there.

Regardless, the point I’m trying to make is that Jessica Simpson still has not had her baby and according to OK (if it’s to be believed), she isn’t due until next month. Well, I guess technically, since that was published in April, she should be having her baby in May. So I am no further ahead than I was before I had bought the magazine. What a waste of $5.49 That seems outrageously expensive  to me, especially since one of their major stories features someone I’ve never even heard of (sorry, Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett) and another story about Kate Hudson’s baby weight loss. Who really cares about that? I can tell you this for free, I do not.

~ Hilary

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