Please watch the following video and then we can all be confused and uncomfortable together.
First of all, why is it that Pitbull only sings out of the side of his mouth? Perhaps that is a very unappreciated talent. Something tells me that it is not. Also, why is he is in every Jennifer Lopez song now? Not that I’m complaining as I think he might even add a little class to this one. Ugh…that’s bad news, J.Lo.
Here’s another, perhaps more relevant thing: Didn’t Kylie Minogue already do that whole writhing pile of half-naked humans thing? But what I think is hilarious is that Jennifer Lopez is only touching herself when she joins the writhing pile of half-naked humans thing. Everyone else has their hands all over everyone else, but Jennifer Lopez is only touching her own thigh.
And then we have a very awkward and painfully long intimate moment between her and her new boyfriend, Casper the Back-up Dancing Ghost. Seriously, why is that necessary? The slow crawl, covered in what I can only assume are lead shavings (welcome to Crazy Town, population: the nutcase covered in lead), accompanied by the lyrics “I want to dance, and love, and dance again”. Don’t we all, J. Lo, don’t we all. And then Pitbull’s still hanging around in the background, whispering “Make love to me” out of the side of his mouth. I am uncomfortable!
But then, to make you even more uncomfortable, Jennifer Lopez and Casper have a bum-grabbing salsa number, followed by an awkward blindfold moment.
I was right, by the way. Here’s the video that Kylie Minogue did first. Except Kylie Minogue’s has full-on groping and a cone bra in hers. Is that better or worse? You decide.
P.S. I personally think Kylie Minogue’s is better, but mostly because of the giant elephant balloon, the doves, and the scene with the white horse galloping, in slow motion, through the middle of the road.