I really want to do a “tbh” status on my facebook. I mentioned this to Julia and our friend Carolyn in passing while we were watching The Bachelorette the other day (sorry, no, I meant enjoying the hilarity that is Charlie weeping in the back of a minivan), and both of them looked at me like I was speaking Latin (which means that they were super befuddled, because no one speaks Latin. That language is deader than…Roman people? I don’t know, leave me alone). It then occurred to me that perhaps they don’t know what “tbh” is, probably because they’re in their twenties. I, fortunately, have the good fortune of teaching dance to pre-teens, so I can now fill in the blanks.
TBH stands for “to be honest”. On facebook, kids will make their status “Like for a tbh” and then all of their friends will feverishly click the “like” button and wait for the status-maker to write something “honest” about them. But the thing is, those responses are never honest. They’re always “tbh, you’re super pretty” (but with three y’s on the end of “pretty”), or in the case of dance kids, “tbh, you’re a really great dancer” (which is usually true). If they don’t know the person well and it’s actually kind of socially awkward that they’ve clicked “like”, then they write something like “tbh, I don’t know you that well, but we should hang out more”. All of these things are not honest.
If I ever did a “Like for a tbh”, I would probably get kicked off of facebook (can they do that? I could probably swing it). My replies would all be very honest. And likely very offensive. “Tbh, I don’t actually remember who you are. Did we go to high school together?” “Tbh, your excessive over-sharing on facebook both annoys and unnerves me. Stop it”. “Tbh, I’m deleting you off of facebook right now”. “Tbh, I don’t like you at all. Your personality actually offends me”.
And this is why I can never give up social conventions. I would literally have no friends. Well, actually, that’s not true. I would only have the best friends. Maybe I should do this…
~ Hilary Axle Hatchet