I love a good baseball game. I love the 500 levels, I love the JumboTron and the wave, I love the excitement of home runs. But the problem with baseball is that if a game is tied, it can go on forever. Not nearly as long as cricket, which I’m pretty sure can last for days, and is so confusing and secretive they must be making the rules up as they go. But certainly longer than soccer where if you score just once it’s an accomplishment of epic proportions and should you tie, they just call it a draw, because another goal might not happen again for 12 years. (At least they do so in the Euro Cup tournament, and not being European, I’m basing all my knowledge of off the incessant updates of my lovely Italian friend and soccer fan, Cristina.)
With baseball you go into extra innings, and as soon as that happens – as soon as you leave the cushy comfort of the ninth – the panic starts to set in. I’ve been to games where you sit there into the 15th inning, and all you want to do is go home. But you know that the second you do, somebody is going to knock one out of the park and you’ll miss that spectacular moment of glory. You’ve sat there for 14 innings already; you’re so committed to this game! And yet, and yet, you just want to peel your bum off of your plastic seat, get out of the sun and into a cold shower, and guzzle 18 litres of water to offset all the beers you consumed trying to stay cool in the scorching heat.
So, on that note, I’ve devised some alternate tie-breakers I think the Major League should put into affect:
1. Thumb war
2. Mud or jello wrestling
3. Home run derby (this one’s for real, I think that would be awesome)
4. Lightening round of soccer-baseball
5. Jeopardy-style trivia show-down
6. Wheelbarrow racing along the baseline
7. Which team can chug the most beer out of their own cleats
8. Three-legged race
9. Iron Chef showdown
10. Dance off, Step Up style
I really think that these would improve the game significantly.