1. Create a dress out of popsicles, à la Lady Gaga’s meat dress. PETA won’t hunt you down, but you do run the risk of getting awfully sticky.
2. Hire a small man to fan you with a banana leaf all day long. I’m not sure the going rate for that kind of work, but you’ll probably have to tip.
3. Eat only cold things. Cold soup, ice cream and ice cubes.
4. Related to 3., become a raw vegan. Don’t turn on your oven, frying pan, or bbq on until October. Nobody really needs a hot dog in the summer anyways, and I hear November is the perfect time to fire up the grill.
5. Make friends with people with pools. Not good enough friends that you have to help them open the pool in the spring but just good enough that you can pop by for a quick cool down.
6. And finally – I got really innovative here – stay inside. Heard of a basement? Heard of AC? Heard of a ceiling fan? Yeah us too. If it’s too hot outside, go inside.