Pardon Me?

Apparently, it has been speculated that Avril Lavigne and Marilyn Manson are an item. You can all sigh in relief, because according to this article, this is not true.

First of all, I would like to say, “pardon?” Is that not the most random pairings in the world? If it had been true, I think we should’ve all taken the time to sit back and ponder what exactly Marilyn Manson’s type is. But it’s not true, so I think that we should instead ponder what exactly he meant by “She’s Canadian, I wouldn’t do that”.

Why? Why wouldn’t you do that because she’s Canadian? What do you honestly have against Canadians? No one hates Canadians except for other Canadians. People from other countries love Canadians because all we do is say thank you and apologize to people who run into us. We’re also hyper-aware of political correctness and find blatant racism shocking and appalling. What’s not to love?

But it’s okay, though, because he then follows it up with “No offense”, and I think we all know that that makes it okay. You can say terrible things about someone so long as you tack “no offense” on to the end. Oh no wait…YOU CAN’T.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

P.S. I would’ve totally been fine with all of this if he had only said that he wouldn’t date her because she was whiny and wore too much eye make-up. But I guess in Marilyn Manson’s case, that would be a bit like the kettle calling the pot raccoon eyes, or whatever that saying is.

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