It’s Friday the 13th, and in honour of this, we’ve compiled a list of truly scary movies that you can watch tonight.
1. Well, obviously War Horse. Good God. No one should be subjected to that kind of torment.
2. The Back-up Plan, starring Jennifer Lopez, an attractive man, and a poorly crafted plotline.
3. My Super Ex-Girlfriend. There was a time when Uma Thurman was at the top of the acting game. And then she made some really bad role choices. This movie is one of them.
4. Snow White and The Huntsman. Just awful. So very, very awful. Besides which, the creepy, somewhat incestuous brother’s bowl cut will 100% terrify you for life.
5. Any/all of the Twilight movies in existence. We deeply apologize for offending a large population of the English-speaking nation.
6. Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone. Like I said, the eyebrow waggling is out of control and it was filmed in the period of time before Daniel Radcliffe had fully formed emotions.
I was going to be clever and try to come up with thirteen examples for Friday the 13th, but I’m only going to do six instead. Now take that number and write it three times…see? Just as spooky (if not more because, really, would you rather have encounters with bad luck or Satan?)