Out of the Olympic loop

I’m currently missing most of the Olympic action because I work during the day (what IS this system?) and I have no cable/satellite. Yet. So you can see how I’m quickly becoming utterly out of the Olympic loop.

Oh sure, Twitter is helping, (whatup #WellDoneCanada!) but it’s just not the same as actually watching the events. Yes I giggle at the mention of the tiny speedos on Russian divers but it’s not the same as seeeeeeeeeeeeeeing the tiny speedos. Which is a good thing perhaps?

So, if you’re like me, and gainfully employed during the daylight hours, I’ve compiled a list of things almost as riveting as the Olympics that you can watch/partake in without getting fired for skipping work.

1. Kittens on uStream (though I suppose if you’re streaming video live at work you still run the risk of getting canned and might as well just watch the Olympics. I mostly just wanted to share a video of kittens.)

2. Cubicle drama. Is one of your coworkers working on the project from hell? Or are Belinda and Mindy have difficulty amicably sharing the label maker again? Grab your popcorn and wheel your desk chair right over! Enjoy the show!

3. The fiery ruins that is real life Bella and Edward/the hopes and dreams of nearly every teenaged girl all over the world.

4. Your office neighbors. Do you work in a sky rise? Every look to your left and see hilarious shenanigans in the building next to you? No, me neither, but it could happen one of these days, and maybe that day is today.

4. Work competitions with semi-silent commentary. If table tennis is an Olympic sport, nearly anything can be, right? I say challenge your office-mates to an email-off, three-hold punch competition, or rousing game of who can photocopy the fastest. You name it. Then, comment on it in the most ridiculous way possible. Be sure to use phrases that make no sense or are slightly condescending “she types with a reckless abandon;” “if only his countenance wasn’t so unshaven, his victory would so much more meaningful;” “her photocopies glow with all the lost grace of a fallen angel;” etc. etc. Only do it semi-silently because we all know how annoying those people on tv are, and you don’t want your boss to be offended by his “outrageously committed tie pattern” or something.

And for those of you who ARE watching the Olympics, keep me updated! Tweet us @SarcasmSoapbox and use #WellDoneCanada ! 🙂

~ Julia

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