This Song Could Literally Be About Anything

If you were alive during any point in the ’90s, you will remember the (one) smash hit of the original brother pop trio, Hanson. Here’s the thing about Hanson: they were an extreme product of their era. Basically, they were just three dudes rocking the (unfortunately) long hair style of the early ’90s. Here’s the other thing about Hanson and their one hit song: it is completely incoherent. I have no idea what they’re saying at any given point during the song, except the times that they say “mmmmbop” and that’s not even a word. That’s a sound.

So I was looking up things on youtube (regrettably, I was searching Hanson’s cover of Taylor Swift’s horrendous song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Sadly for Taylor, Hanson does it marginally better. That is what I like to call embarrassing). Anyway, I came across this somewhat recent video of Hanson singing their smash hit live on some radio show or other. AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE SAYING.

How is that possible? They’ve grown, presumably their enunciation has improved, but no. I still only recognize “mmmmbop” and one other part at the beginning when they say “gone too fast”. What’s gone too fast? I literally have no concept of what this song is about. They could potentially be singing about clubbing baby seals or giant wheels of brie. I’m not even convinced that they’re singing in English. I think they might just be making sounds that kind of rhyme. I’m also a little saddened to see that the one bro in the middle is still rocking that hair. Unfortunate.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

P.S. After listening to it several times in a row, I now also recognize the line “it’s a secret no one knows”, but again, that could pertain to just about anything.

P.P.S. On the other hand, there’s also a part that sounds distinctly like “fleep flow prose”, so there’s that.

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