Couple friends for hire

It’s a strange phenomenon that I’m sure you’ve all encountered. A friend, coworker, or acquaintance, acquires a new significant other of whom they are just super jazzed about. And that’s just great, we’re all really happy that they’ve discovered this fount of undying happiness in another person. Fabulous for them and all that.

But then this overly chipper individual approaches you and squeals with delight that you can now be COUPLE FRIENDS! ISN’T THAT SO FUN?

And the answer is no, that is not “so fun” because it’s a bit rare that you and your partner want to hang out with other couples of people. Really, you just want to hang out with a few friends, have a few drinks, and generally experience good times. It’s really quite highly unnecessary to partake in these activities in rigidly compartmentalized groups of people. Also, people who get really excited about having a COUPLE FRIEND (EEEEEEE!) want to take you and your partner bowling, glow in the dark mini-golfing, wine tasting, tandem bike riding, paddle boating, camping, and any other manner of slightly pretentious, not that fun, activities that would only be greatly improved with the presence of a bunch of friends, quite a bit of beer, and lots of laughs. I’ll go tandem bike riding ironically  with a couple girl friends for the sheer laugh of it all, but when you go tandem bike riding in all seriousness, you’re an aggravating hipster wannabe.

The truth is, most people don’t want to be couple friends. People just want to hang out with their own friends.

Hilary and I have encountered this many a time. We’ll be pleasantly sitting around chatting, drinking wine, eating brie, and then we notice that effectively, somehow in a very unspoken way, we’ve become “couple friends” for the couple of friends that we’re hanging out with. It’s delightful and here’s why. We’re not actually a couple (OBVIOUSLY) and so we’re just a bunch of friends hanging out.  But we’re still a pair, so we can make up a foursome for dinners, movies, anything really! If you have a boyfriend/husband who’s also part of your friend group, chances are you hang out with a pair of people like Hilary and I – be they a legitimate couple, or just two best friends. When you want to go see a movie with a couple of friends, rather than invite another couple and just be overwhelmingly obnoxious you ring up a couple of friends: your unofficial couple friends, Hilary and I. It’s a brilliant system we’ve accidentally stumbled across.

We’re thinking of taking this public and making it into a real business. We will be your couple friends if you pay our way. We’ll take lots of different kinds of customers: the eager, genuine people who squeal over having COUPLE FRIENDS to hang out with, and the couples trying to avoid being couple friends but just need some friends to round out their eurchre party. We’ll be there for you.

~ Julia

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