A step-by-step guide to starting your own enormously popular folk band

I welcome the Mumford & Sons craze because I think that it’s about time the world celebrated elbow patches, clever song writing, and good music. So you can hop on this bandwagon and cash in on their success, I’ve prepared step-by-step easy to follow instructions for starting your own folk band! Best of luck in your musical endeavors.

This is what you’re aiming for folks.

1. You must have curly hair that you wear as a disheveled mop on the top of your head and distractedly run your fingers through.

2. If you were cursed with straight hair (because, please, there is never any excuse for a perm), you must part it to one side, cut the sides very very short, and constantly flip your hair over, in the direction of the part, to give it a ruffled school boy look.

3. Purchase a fedora, everything tweed, and lots and lots of wool.

4. Brogues or ankle high boots are absolutely necessary footwear.

5. If you smoke, consider a pipe, cigars, or hand-rolled cigarettes. (We don’t actually recommend smoking though, that’s really gross, and only really worked out well for Johnny Cash in the voice department.)

6. Layers. Always layer.

7. If a shirt doesn’t have a collar you can’t wear it.

8. Find people who can play the banjo, fiddle, piano, stand-up bass, harmonica, and accordion. Ie. your band will be full of nerds. Amazingly talented and lovely nerds. Wonderful right?

9. Consider wearing glasses.

10. Toques and scarves can and should be worn in all weather.

11. Perhaps grow a mustache. It isn’t necessary but it couldn’t hurt.

The Lumineers are another prime example. Prime I say!

You’re welcome.

~ Julia

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