Monthly Archives: November 2012

Holiday Jams

With the holidays fast approaching, I have begun listening to many a Christmas/holiday tune. I have compiled here a list of my top 10 favourite for this particular holiday season:

  • Straight No Chaser – 12 Days of Christmas

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Twitter: I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong

Hilary and I are by no means expert tweeters, though we do try to be hilarious, so you should still follow us (@SarcasmSoapbox). That said, I feel as though we’ve got a relatively good grip on what one should and should not tweet about compared to some. And while I’m fairly certain that the entire purpose of Twitter is simply to help you waste time, there appear to be some people who have somehow got Twitter horribly, horribly all wrong. Continue reading

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Get Ready for Another 18 Months of Jessica Simpson Pregnancy Watch

I heard this on the radio yesterday and was consequently unnecessarily excited. Yes, the rumours are true, folks: Jessica Simpson is in fact pregnant again. And after only seven months or some equally ridiculously short period of time since she had the last one. And I am needlessly excited to see how incredibly pregnant she gets for this one. Continue reading

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Take me to winter!

To me winter will always mean snow, and it’s definitely a requirement for Christmas. We really don’t have much snow where I am right now, and I’ve got my fingers crossed it’ll show up in time! But just in case, I’ve got a plan a., b., and c. Continue reading

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I’ve unearthed a secret Christmas plan

The only mail I ever get is from Visa, or at my work, where 4Imprint, a company that will put your company logo on pens, mugs and all kinds of swag, sends me extremely awesome samples. Though the last mug was a garish shade of lime green, I was still really stoked about it.

But then recently a small envelope came in the mail for me! The mail inside was not all that exciting compared to the envelop itself. I think I’ve unearthed a secret Christmas plan.

That tree circled a million times is obviously a Christmas tree and I’m rather sure this is a complex drawing of where to place it. I feel like the mailman is trying to send me a message! He’s either calling me fat (top right corner, also, rude.), or he wants me to move a present to C|F, whilst putting my Christmas tree on a set of stairs. Or perhaps a ladder.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!

But mostly, I’m not sure why somebody has decided to use my mail as their own personal Post-it note, but please know that you can buy those things at Staples for like $3. I suggest you do so, you mail doodler you.

~ Julia

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“And There Won’t Be Snow in Africa”

A couple days ago, Julia and I were listening to a radio station in the car that has begun playing Christmas/holiday music all day long. Up until that point, I had actually never heard the song “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” It’s got kind of a “Wavin’ Flag” feel to it, except in the ’80s and seriously more judgmental.

This charming ditty features the magical musical stylings of various pop artists who were famous in the ’80s, including George Michael, Sting, Bono, and various other people I can’t recognize because I was born in 1991. I think I saw Boy George in there.  Along with the steady dance beat, this song comes with a large side of mullets and guilt. It’s almost worse than those World Vision commercials that use Lennon’s “So This is Christmas” to guilt you into donating.

According to the Wikipedia page, the song was recorded to raise money for famine in Ethiopia, which I suppose is quite nice, but I don’t know that they had to make the lyrics quite as passive aggressive. Some of the more aggressive lyrics include “where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears” and “the greatest gift they’ll get this year is life”.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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Breaking News: Taylor Swift Likes Christmas and Jam!

Last night, as I was bored and trying to avoid having to do school work, I ended up scrolling through many a celebrity gossip site and reading various articles on famous people. I eventually stopped, however, when I realized that I was part way through reading an article about how Taylor Swift loves Christmas and she makes raspberry jam. Continue reading

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Showcase: Century Home

Inevitably when Hilary and I drive someplace together we’ll pass a large, gorgeous house, and one of us will say, “oh let’s live there” (and we’ll buy it with all the money we make from this blog. HA!) It’s a habit we picked up from our mum, who it seemed was intent on potentially moving us all over the city to live in all manor of beautiful homes, but our dad, who can’t even handle when the furniture is rearranged, likely would not have been ok with that. And I’m fairly certain it’s probably a habit that she picked up from her dad who would put them all in the car and go for long drives across Ontario just to look at stuff. This is before iPods and being busy were invented. Here are just a few of the homes Hilary and I will obviously own one day own.  Continue reading

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Dear Photograph, I’ll be home for Christmas

We experienced our first real snowfall in my city this past weekend. It had snowed here a couple times before, but this time a dusting of snow stayed on the ground, and it’s been lightly snowing ever since. It’s still not tobogganing snow, but it’s the most Christmas-like weather we’ve seen yet, so it was pretty exciting. I bought Michael Bublé’s Christmas album in celebration, and listened to it steadily this past weekend. Continue reading

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I Have an Honours Degree in Hodge-Podge

With the end of the semester fast approaching and only one semester of university left, I am left contemplating the prospects of my degree. As I have previously mentioned, I’m sure numerous times, I am trained for very little. In all actuality, I seem to have spent the four years of my university program accumulating a mass of ridiculous and unrelated knowledge in varying subjects. Here are some of the more unique (re: useless) classes I have taken: Continue reading

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