I Have an Honours Degree in Hodge-Podge

With the end of the semester fast approaching and only one semester of university left, I am left contemplating the prospects of my degree. As I have previously mentioned, I’m sure numerous times, I am trained for very little. In all actuality, I seem to have spent the four years of my university program accumulating a mass of ridiculous and unrelated knowledge in varying subjects. Here are some of the more unique (re: useless) classes I have taken:

  • Apiculture. Yes, I took the study of bees. Why? I’m not entirely certain. My friend Emily really wanted to take the course and I needed a science credit, so I thought, why not? We got to go on field trips (not that exciting, just to other parts of the university) and I did surprisingly well. I also learned a whole bunch about the reproductive lives of bees that, let’s face it, I will never need to know again.
  • The Science of Gardening. This was my other mandatory science credit. I mean it was mandatory in the sense that I was required to take two science classes, but I certainly was not required to take the Science of Gardening. That would be ridiculous. I wrote a six-page paper of crab apple trees.
  • The History of Jazz. This, while generally useless in terms of my future life, was actually super interesting. I don’t regret taking this at all, even if I did have to commit numerous dates, song titles, composers, and saxophone players to memory.
  • The Musical Avant-Garde. While this is also useless and the listening examples have been torturous at times, as you all well know, it’s actually quite an interesting course and my professor was excellent. She also has fabulous hair and dresses really nicely, so there’s that.
  • Introduction to Spanish: Part I. Ask me to speak Spanish. I can’t. Wonderfully practical.
  • Introduction to German: Part I and II. Ask me to speak German. I might be able to tell you something about Berlin and/or apples.
  • Creative Writing. Can I just say that this was the worst class I have ever taken? And this is coming from someone who writes creatively on a daily basis. Our professor once told us that no one could write in first-person because people had been doing it poorly. And instead of, you know, TEACHING US how to do it properly, we just weren’t allowed to. Because that’s the mark of a good instructor.

All in all, a vast range of uselessness for me to choose from. How practical.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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