Breaking News: Taylor Swift Likes Christmas and Jam!

Last night, as I was bored and trying to avoid having to do school work, I ended up scrolling through many a celebrity gossip site and reading various articles on famous people. I eventually stopped, however, when I realized that I was part way through reading an article about how Taylor Swift loves Christmas and she makes raspberry jam.

What has become of my life? I can’t decide if it’s sadder that someone wrote that article in the first place, that some people will likely find it genuinely interesting, or that I read the entire thing in full. I mean, I’m slightly impressed that this was on a celebrity gossip site. As far as celebrity gossip goes, this particular story is completely harmless, if not extremely boring. I’m pleased that Taylor Swift was likely not hounded by paparazzi for days on end because the world of celebrity media had unearthed the shocking truth that she enjoys the yuletide and boils fruit.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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