You know how we feel about people who whisper in class, and gentlemen, here’s a tip: talking slightly softer is not the same as whispering. I don’t know what it is with guys, it seems as though they’re entirely physically incapable of whispering. I’m going to run a study; it’ll revolutionize the scientific world.
But even you annoying gents, who are at least trying to be a bit quieter and less horrifically intrusive, are not as bad as the middle-aged women Hilary and I had the misfortune of sitting in front of at the movies last night. I don’t even have words to describe how annoying they were. No, annoying is too kind of a word. These horrible wenches were just plain rude. They were contentedly chatting away, loudly, before the movie started, but whatever, that’s their prerogative. Then the commercials started and woman 1 says to women 2 and 3 “I think it’s just outrageous that we have to sit through commercials, it’s just ridiculous. So I’m going to ignore them!” and then they all raised their voices, so that they were shouting over the commercials and trailers so that they could all still hear each other, without having to hear any of the commercials. You know what’s outrageous woman 1? That I have to listen to YOU.
They talked so loudly I was sure that we were no longer existing in real life and that this was some sort of horrifying twilight zone. They talked so loudly Hilary and I completely lost our filter and said things like “you have GOT to be kidding me!” and “are you serious??” out loud. I’m not ashamed to say it: we became passive aggressive. When the movie was starting woman 2 said to women 1 and 3, at her usual outrageously loud decibel “I only have one napkin, so if you ladies are going to cry through this movie you’re going to have to share!” to which Hilary grumbled, cleverly, and not very quietly, “Oh I’ll give you something to cry about!”
We assumed they’d stop talking once the movie started like any normal person would, but that was not the case, and after doing countless side turns to glare at them, Hilary finally just turned around and said bluntly “Can you PLEASE stop talking?!” They had the nerve to look affronted but thankfully they did end up stopping. The thing is, these women were middle-aged. It should not necessary to tell adults to stop talking during a movie!
I hope that one day at least one of these wretched women reads this blog and realizes just how horrible she has been. We’ll vent about whisperers, but I will LAMBASTE fully grown and fully rude women.