I Think Literally EVERYONE Saw This Coming

As I’m sure you’re well aware by this point, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles have broken up. According to this article, Harry “gave her the elbow”. What? Is that a saying? I’m not sure it is. “Giving someone the elbow” suggests, at least to me, that you have literally and physically elbowed someone. Maybe Harry did actually elbow Taylor. We’ll probably never know [at this point, I should mention again that I do not know that Harry Styles ever actually elbowed Taylor Swift. This is how rumours get started. By people who pray at the altar of the literal].

In any case, I think we all saw this coming. Is it surprising to anyone? No. I can’t wait until she tires out this gimmick of breaking up with someone and then recording some undoubtedly cleverly written (sarcasm) song about it. I mean, I personally think it’s already tired, but  I am really excited for the day that everyone else becomes officially bored by it as well. I’m really counting on all the hardcore One Direction fans (One Directioners, if you will. I won’t) to bring this about quickly.

Just as a side note, in most of the articles about this I found on Google, they mention that the break-up occurred because Harry was bored by Taylor’s antiquing. Can’t say I really blame him, but is that a viable reason to dump someone? I mean, if we start accepting a hatred of antiques as an acceptable means to end a relationship, where do we draw the line? Soon we’ll be accepting things like “he wore running shoes with regular pants” or “her molars were misshapen” as reasonable causes for break-ups as well. And from that point, it’s only a stone’s throw away to accepting things like “her immune system is abhorrent” and “he enjoys reading economics text books”.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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2 thoughts on “I Think Literally EVERYONE Saw This Coming

  1. WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT EXPLAINING THEIR BREAKUP.LIKE,YOU SHOULD BE A SCIENTIST.SARCASM SCIENTIST.I’LL TELL MY PARENTS.THEY NEVER UNDERSTOOD THEIR BREAK UP.MAYBE YOU’LL UNDESTAND MY LIFE.Maybe not.BUT THAT WAS SO DEEP,YOU JUST MINED SOME GOLD.WOAH,EXPRESSIONS.Okay,but srsly good explanation.YOU MAKE MY DAY MAKE SENSE.

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