It’s days like today that make me extremely glad I don’t live in Winnipeg. Seriously, can you imagine how cold it is there right now? I mean, it’s probably colder in Whitehorse, but that’s neither here nor there.
In any case, my father made me, and I do mean MADE me, wear some sort of head wear today, which is just as well because it was bloody freezing. There, you happy, Dad? You were right. I admit it. The problem, of course, was that I don’t actually own a hat of any kind. Well, I suppose that’s not technically true. I did find a hat that belonged to me when I was about seven in the bottom of my winter wear bin, right next to a purple neck warmer (hands up if you remember what that is) and a pair of ripped splash pants that probably belonged to my brother circa 1996. Needless to say, I didn’t wear that hat, though, in my defense, it didn’t actually fit on my head past my ears.
The long and short of it is that I only really had two viable options. One of them was a pair of tartan earmuffs. The second was a touque that my father used to wear, probably also circa 1996, complete with neon Aztec patterning and a pompom. I ended up wearing the touque on the way home because the earmuffs kept slipping off my head (very annoying). It’s also blindingly sunny outside, so I was wearing my fake Wayfarers. I must’ve looked like the biggest hipster.
~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet
P.S. Spell check tried to tell me that touque is not a word. Pffft.
P.P.S. Good people of Manitoba, please tell me how cold it is there right now and allow me to give you my many, many condolences. People of Whitehorse, don’t bother. I’m still not speaking to you. You know what you did.