As Julia has already said, yesterday was Sarcasm Soapbox’s birthday. We are officially one year old and surprisingly bitter for an infant. I really feel like we’ve been through a lot together. We’ve endured Jessica Simpson’s never ending pregnancy and now we’re on to another one. We’ve been through three seasons of The Bachelor/Bachelorette together as well as at least one season of Bachelor Pad. Man, it’s been so long, I can’t actually remember how many seasons of Bachelor Pad I’ve watched, let alone posted about. We also suffered through those God awful Voice posts together. I don’t think there was ever a time Christina Aguilera was not wearing some sort of ill-fitting bodysuit.
I personally feel like I’ve grown a lot as a person. But then I look back at some of the things I’ve written and I think, “oh, nope I haven’t.” I still hate whisperers with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I still think Harry Potter memes are hilarious. And I’m still terrified by those ads in the back of my Sudoku books that advertise dolls with RealTouch vinyl skin, which I think is essentially as creepy as it sounds. My love for Benedict Cumberbatch has definitely grown, that much I can assure you, as has my love of The Jungle Giants. I don’t watch Sea Patrol anymore, but I’ve been known to catch up on the odd Hollyoaks episode now and then. Though the last time I watched, everyone died. I mean, not everyone obviously, but at least five people. In one episode.
I think that my favourite post I’ve ever written, or close to favourite at least, is the one about Jennifer Lope’z hit song “Dance Again”. I Am Deeply Confused and Slightly Uncomfortable, it’s called. Check it out and let me know if you too were confused and uncomfortable. My money’s on “yes”. My other favourite is titled Not the Career for Me. And the best comment I’ve ever received on this blog is this one:
“WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT EXPLAINING THEIR BREAKUP.LIKE,YOU SHOULD BE A SCIENTIST.SARCASM SCIENTIST.I’LL TELL MY PARENTS.THEY NEVER UNDERSTOOD THEIR BREAK UP.MAYBE YOU’LL UNDESTAND MY LIFE.Maybe not.BUT THAT WAS SO DEEP,YOU JUST MINED SOME GOLD.WOAH,EXPRESSIONS.Okay,but srsly good explanation.YOU MAKE MY DAY MAKE SENSE.”
I never knew my thoughts on Taylor Swift and Harry Style’s break-up could be so profound, but apparently yes. This person made my day. For real. My whole week even.
Tbh, you guys are the best. Thanks for reading our ridiculous ramblings and bitter rants.
~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet
P.S. I’m still totally lost when it comes to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s supposed moles.