The other day, I had the great misfortune of sitting in front of the loudest breather I have ever heard in my entire life. Actually, that’s a lie. One time, when I was studying at school, another student came to the study lounge I was at and proceeded to breathe so loudly that he alarmed the adult student across the room. It was as if he had only just been running a marathon, yet he was breathing entirely through his nose. I was so genuinely concerned for his respiratory health that I didn’t even find it that annoying, which is amazing (because I find so very many things annoying).
But I digress. I was sitting in front of this fellow who was breathing rather heavily, and essentially directly into my ear. He too was breathing through his nose (I checked). Do you understand what that means? That means that he just breathes that loudly naturally. How is that even possible?
When I was in high school, in my grade 12 history class, the guy who sat behind me used to breathe down my neck. Every day, I would come into class and move my desk forward and his back. And every day he would come into class and move his desk forward. Then breathe on my neck for the next 70 minutes or so. Unfortunate.
~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet