Tonight, in approximately 30 minutes, I’m going to watch the season premier of The Voice. I know what you’re thinking. “But, Hilary, you swore you would never watch it again!” And that’s true. I did give up on The Voice forever and always. Or so I thought.
The thing is, the main reason that I stopped watching The Voice in the first place is two-fold, but centers entirely around Christina Aguilera. Firstly, she kicked off who I considered the best singer on the show at the time, or, at the very least, on her team.
And the second reason I stopped watching was because, I won’t lie, her breasts weird me right out.
But now there are new coaches. Cee Lo (and his tiny hands) is being replaced by Usher, who may very well also have tiny hands. I’m not sure yet, but I’ll keep you posted. And Christina Aguilera has thankfully been replaced as well, though by Shakira, which seems like an odd choice.
I find this commercial effective mostly because I have done this exact thing to that exact song on many an occasion.
And before I go, I would like to leave you with this, perhaps lesser known, but supremely hilarious Shakira number.
I have three questions, Shakira:
- Why did you fire your choreographer?
- Why are you keeping the she wolf in closets?
- And how is “awooo” a valid lyric?
~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet