The Return To The She Wolf

I talked about this briefly yesterday, but the more I thought about it, the less I was able to just leave it at that. There are so many things that are hilarious about this video. And song.

First of all, I think it’s abundantly clear that she either used to be an exotic dancer or she’s at least taken some of those Carmen Electra pole dancing classes. I mean, maybe she just used to be a gymnast or a contortionist, but I assure you that most unpracticed people can’t just hang off of cage bars like that and make it look semi-attractive. People can of course hang off of bars without practicing before hand, but it generally just tends to look like they’re hanging off bars, as opposed t0 looking like seductive she wolves in nude bodysuits.

Secondly, I would really like to know how many abdominal muscles it takes to raise your bum in the air like that while lying on your stomach. I would also like to know exactly what the directing instructions were for Shakira when she decided to do that. Or really any other dance moves in the video for that matter. What exactly prompted her to half-vogue, half-pop and lock in a one-armed, one-legged unitard? Because I can honestly say that I’ve never experienced the urge to do any of that before. I also feel compelled to point out, for those inexperienced with the club scene and perhaps considering trying it out, that rarely anyone wears unitards to bars these days. And, if I could be quite frank for a moment, I don’t really think any of those dance moves pointed to anything specifically wolf-like in the first place.

And thirdly, I question a lot of the lyric choices. I mentioned yesterday that “awoo” seemed a daring choice, but I also think it was a bit risky trying to fit “lycanthropy” in there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly impressed that she (or whoever her writers are, as I assume she did not write this herself, given her somewhat stilted grasp on the English language) managed to find something to rhyme with it. I also must admit that the panting both threw me and unsettled me a tad.

I would like to leave this post with one final thought on Shakira’s musical masterpiece; is the closet she both entered and exited actually the she wolf version of Narnia?

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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