The New Sheryl Crow

I’ve stopped hearing that one Sheryl Crow song multiple times a day, which is fabulous, but now I hear a different song multiple times a day.

I don’t even know who Kate Morgan is. Does she not sound almost exactly like Natasha Bedingfield? I assumed that it was Natasha Bedingfield because the song is just irritating enough (don’t look at me like that, you’re totally thinking of “Pocketful of Sunshine” right now).

I also hear Demi Lovato’s song “Heart Attack” all the time.

I’m going to be quite frank (as if I’d ever be anything else), I hate this song. First of all, it’s really aggressive. And by that, I specifically mean aggressively abrasive. There’s a lot of almost-screaming. The lyrics are also incredibly dumb. Some of the opening lines include “When I don’t care / I can play them like a Ken doll. / Don’t wash my hair, / Make ’em bounce like a basketball”. Who the hell wrote this crap? Unwashed hair is not the worst thing that can happen to someone, especially since it’s not even his hair that’s unwashed. Really, in this scenario, you’re only hurting yourself, Demi. Because now your hair is greasy.

Also, why are you rubbing crude oil all over your body? Did you not see “Quantum of Solace”? That’s bad news.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

P.S. I also feel compelled to point out that you can’t have a heart attack from falling in love. You have heart attacks from eating pounds of butter on a daily basis and extreme levels of stress. 

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