I was perusing Suri’s Burn Book today (as I do) and in so doing I was reminded that Jessica Simpson is currently pregnant. That’s right, I had completely forgotten, and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one. Ah the double-edged pregnancy sword (WOW that metaphor sounds highly dangerous/unethical): one pregnancy you have all the press in the entire world, though much of it is perhaps not positive, and the next pregnancy the entire world forgets you even existed. Surely there’s a happy medium?
The problem is last time, J. Simps (as I will now call her) got very very pregnant very very quickly, so pregnant so quickly in fact that it seemed like she had been pregnant for a very very long time. My friends and I had many a chat about it – how long has she been pregnant? Surely it’s been about 18 months by now? What do you mean she’s not having twins? We try not to be mean spirited, but in our defenses we were genuinely curious. That pregnancy lasted a lifetime. For J. Simps I’m sure it lasted an eternity.
This pregnancy, J. Simps is just getting along like any other pregnant mom: seen walking in leggings and tunics and generally being healthy, active, and happy. And that’s just wonderful for her. But at the same time we have Kim Kardashian with her pregnancy lips (Google it, they’re so enormous) generally struggling at dressing her new body and sharing her whole life with the world, and we have Kate Middleton in sharp juxtaposition, being very demure, very small, very well dressed, and very private. They really are the most opposite pregnant people to be be pregnant at the same time, ever.
I imagine that this pregnancy must be a little sad for J. Simps. On one hand she’s not being gossiped about. On the other, she’s not being talked about at all. Oh dear.