“Sir, please do not leave your snake unattended in public”

Julia suggested that I make one giant post about all the weird things I see in the town where I work, but then something happened on Monday that was actually just too weird not to talk about.

I was sitting by the river with my friend Ali, just eating lunch and chatting. Whatever, no big deal. But then this group of school children started huddling around nearby, pointing at something and talking in whispered voices. Well, it was a shirtless man and his enormous pet snake. Just hanging about in public during the middle of the day without a shirt on, but accessorizing with a large reptile. Naturally, we were somewhat concerned.

At one point, Shirtless Man walked away and left his snake unattended on the grass. It was a green snake. You don’t just leave green snakes alone in green grass. You’re not supposed to let animals hang out by themselves in the place where they camouflage the most. That’s like letting your pet lion run around uninhibited in a wheat field. Someone’s going to lose a leg.

In the end, Ali and I decided it was time to leave when Shirtless Man picked up his snake and put it around his shoulders like he was Britney Spears.



~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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