Crop tops, hair cuts, and Miley Cyrus

Well, it’s finally true. After months, nay, years, or US Weekly’s relentless speculation, it appears that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have indeed called off their engagement. I read about it in the Globe and Mail, so you know it’s legit now.

Of course rumours have been flying about for some time now: ever since she was caught on camera without her ring, ever since she cut her hair short (because who could possibly be engaged to a woman with SHORT HAIR?), ever since she decided to permanently eschew wearing pants, in favour of wearing very high rise underwear with tall boots. It makes for chilly thighs I would assume, but her fashion choices are her own.

And now it certainly seems as though the world is going to blame Miley’s short hair, crop tops, and somewhat mediocre twerking skills on for this breakup. The world is going to say that she’s spiralling out of control and that Liam is lucky to have escaped her, as if twerking on Robin Thicke while wearing underwear is indicative of a downwards spiral. It might be for Robin Thicke, but isn’t Miley just trying to be a pop star? Didn’t Britney Spears once wear a pale yellow snake as an accessory? Hasn’t Lady Gaga worn a meat dress? Are we really going to look down on Miley for some questionable dancing when Christina Aguilera’s music video for Dirrty exists in this world?

No, the real reason they split up is not her very short haircut (because that would be ridiculous, and if it’s true, I judge you Liam Hemsworth! I judge you lots.), the reason they split up is because they got engaged at like 19! THEY WERE CHILDREN! And now, now that they’re both young adults, they’re becoming the people who they’re going to be. They’re both figuring out who they are, and Liam is figuring out that he’s a handsome bro who could use a haircut, and Miley is figuring out that she’s an experimental, edgy trendster-type person who will wear a bra, or pants, or long hair for no one. No one I say!

I just think that you should be who you’re going to be. I would be lying if I said that I don’t find Miley Cyrus annoying because lord, do I ever. Her music is too nasal for my taste. I don’t like her haircut. I wish she would get over herself and put on a pair of jeans. But this is who she is, and she’s got every right to be this person. Just like Liam Hemsworth has every right to wear the same navy blue v-neck everywhere. And I think the lesson here is not to stop wearing crop tops (though maybe it should be), but to grow up a little bit first, before getting engaged, and to sort out what kind of person you want to be first, and to see if you grow together, or apart. And then, in a couple years, when you learn that your bro boyfriend actually enjoys the fact that you swing naked on a wrecking ball, then, get married.

~ Julia Maurice Sabre-Ocean

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