Monthly Archives: October 2013

Happy Halloween from your favourite Asparagus

Today’s Halloween (obviously. I very much doubt some of you have just read this and thought, “holy crap, really? I’d totally forgotten!”) and I’m pretty excited about it. I mean, I also ate a regrettable amount of baked goods at work, topped off with a chocolate and caramel covered apple (on a stick), which has made me feel a bit jittery, like my heart is pinging off the inside of my rib cage. This probably has a lot to do with my feeling of excitement, if I’m being honest. Continue reading

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Happy Halloween!

We’re celebrating Halloween tonight by giving out candy, which we purchased last minute. Slim pickings let me tell you! I have no idea if there are any little children in my neighbourhood but I half hope not so that we can keep all our mini Aero bars. Mmmm. Continue reading

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Let’s Talk About: Halloween Costumes

We struggle greatly with Halloween costumes and we’re sure we’re not the only one. Today, Julia and I explore why exactly it is that we struggle so much and give some totally helpful Halloween ideas. Continue reading

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And this is why I can’t have nice things

On the weekend I managed to break my laptop with my phone. Technology is turning against me! But seriously, in a shocking lack of dexterity I dropped my iPhone onto my open laptop, cracking the laptop screen. It looks like a wavy television test pattern and makes it really hard to watch Chuck online. Continue reading

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Hop on the beautiful bandwagon

I think, that on a seriously trivial level, the world can be divided into two types of people: people who get Benedict Cumberbatch and people who don’t. My roommate doesn’t get Benedict Cumberbatch. This whole post is for her. Continue reading


Questionable Footwear Choices: Denim Boots

Last night, I went to a thrift shop with my friend Heather to find some clothes she could wear for the Zombie walk that’s happening this weekend in Toronto. It’s pretty cool. Everybody gets all dressed up and made up and then roams the streets of Toronto in a creepy parade. People go all out and it’s awesome. (Sidenote: there’s something wrong with the “v” key on my laptop and I nearly wrote “eerybody” just then, which would’ve been an excellent moment of unintentional coolness).

In any case, we went to the thrift shop to see if we could find some warmish clothes that she could cover in fake blood. They had a lot of Halloween stuff out and more wigs than I can actually count. They’re really making the most of their seasonal market. The thing is, while a lot of it was obviously being geared toward the Halloween shoppers, a lot of other extremely questionable items were not. I saw a pair of denim boots. They were stiletto denim boots. They had pockets on the side. And belt loops at the top.

These boots, now being sold at a secondhand store, used to belong to someone firsthand. Someone wore those legitimately in regular life. Those existed as a footwear option in some store at some point in time. Those were a real item of clothing. And I can’t believe it.

I just can’t.

I mean, it’s not even just that they’re ridiculous, but they’re also not  very practical, are they? Denim is the last thing I want on my feet as a trudge through three feet of snow or leap over immense puddles. And I doubt they’d hold up very well against slush and salt stains, so when is the right time to wear these? Canada is not denim boot friendly.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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Sherlock Fandom, Rejoice!

The season three premiere date has finally been released, after what has felt like an eternity. I pity those who watched the seasons while they were actually on air and have consequently been waiting even longer for this glorious, glorious announcement.

Sherlock BBC will be returning to televisions near you on January 19th. Of course, this is probably the British release date, but still! In what still feels a little bit like an unreasonably long time from now, the third season will exist in the world. I suggest that people start preparing themselves now, especially if you have a tumblr account.

It’s about to get real, son!

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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Let’s Talk About… Television

Julia: I know that I wrote a huge blog post a while ago about all the shows that are new this season, but to be honest the only shows that I actually bother to keep up with are Mindy Project and the Mentalist. I find that the Mindy Project has just the right amount of awkwardness, parody, and humour. I know everybody loves New Girl and I might be the only person in the world who thinks this way, but Jess is too awkward, and the boys are extreme parodies. I don’t believe, nor can I relate to, any of it. And the Mentalist… well it’s pure gold, there’s no debate about that.

Hilary: Yes, I feel the same way and, as a result, I have been watching a lot of British panel shows, which you know, because we watch them together most of the time. Part of me really wants there to be Canadian panel shows, but then I think that maybe they wouldn’t be quite as good. There’s just something about the British that makes them excellent at sitting around tables with a small number of other British people and having hilarious conversations.

Julia: I think the closest thing in Canada we have to a panel show like QI, or Was it Something I Said would be Dragons’ Den or Match Game. In which case, better left to the Brits, I say. Though, I wouldn’t mind seeing a panel consisting of Russell Peters, Rick Mercer and Michael Buble. Also, when I was typing out Michael Buble’s name I almost called him Sean. I have absolutely no idea why. Sean Buble, that well known crooner.

Hilary: I agree, better left to the Brits. I think my favourite panel show right now is Was it Something I Said, if only because Richard Ayoade and David Mitchell are two of my favourite panel show type folk. They’re both quite clever and deadpan, which I think is something I really relate to. QI is always a solid standby and I am quite fond of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. That having been said, my ultimate favourite episode of NMTB is the episode when Richard Ayoade guest hosts. On the other hand, the one where Martin Freeman guest hosts is a close second.

Julia: I think that I have to disagree, and argue that the best episode of NMTB is when Josh Grobin is on the panel. That was the best moment in panel show history for me. I also really liked Would I Lie to You mostly because Rob Brydon would constantly try and take things off track so he could do a Sean Connery impersonation.

Hilary: Okay, yes, that was pretty hilarious. But the conversation between Richard Ayoade and Ed Sheeran is so funny! And it fills my cold, black heart with joy. I like Would I Lie to You because Lee Mack is constantly making fun of David Mitchell for being pompous. Now, would we consider Big Fat Quiz of the Year a panel show? Because that’s always a treat. They’re quite lengthy and usually only happen once per year after New Year’s, but they’re pretty entertaining. Alan Carr is delightful.

Julia: Oh my gosh I love Alan Carr. I know that he has a talk show and not a panel show but he’s actually delightful. When he had Adele on it melted my cold black heart with joy because they just chatted away like the best friends they are. In real life!

Hilary: Another British show I’m quite fond of currently is Gadget Man. It’s in its second season right now. Last season, it was hosted by Stephen Fry, which was probably lovely, but I didn’t know it existed then. Now it’s being hosted by Richard Ayoade and it’s just the best. It’s all about technology and, as the name would suggest, gadgets, which doesn’t seem all that interesting at first, but it’s Richard Ayoade (I now feel a bit like an obsessive fangirl because I’ve talked about Richard Ayoade so much in this post, but I swear it’s valid). Also, he invites other hilarious British celebrity friends on to help him test the gadgets. He and Noel Fielding take a vacation to a beach in the south of France together. Adorable.

Julia: Adorable indeed. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I wish we had 4 Channel. Or at least the BBC.

Hilary: And not the Canadian version of the BBC (no, not CBC, but the actual BBC Canada) because all they really play is Graham Norton, and as entertaining as he is, it’s just not the same as QI. In slightly related news, I have officially given up on Hollyoaks. It’s the end of an era, Julia. They have literally killed off or gotten rid of every character that I actually cared about and now it’s just not worth it.

Julia: Ah Hollyoaks. I checked out when Carmel and the gambling priest didn’t get together – you lasted a surprisingly long time! Also, while we’re on the topic, if anybody is concerned, I’m still working my way through Chuck. I have Friday off and have plans to do nothing but become re-obsessed. I’m excited.

Hilary: I look forward to returning home to find you on a couch somewhere, totally engrossed and antsy. I think Chuck might have the same effect on you as caffeine does. It might even be worse. Minus the paranoia.

Julia: Yes, much less paranoia, much more love. I mean caffeine is great, but it’s got nothing on nerdy, affable, loveable spies.

Hilary: Or Richard Ayoade.

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R. Kelly and Lady Gaga: The Weirdest Pairing Since Pickles and Peanut Butter

Lady Gaga’s new song is called “Do What U Want” and it features R. Kelly. If you want to check it out, there’s an audio of it in this Buzzfeed article. Continue reading

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