Happy Halloween from your favourite Asparagus

Today’s Halloween (obviously. I very much doubt some of you have just read this and thought, “holy crap, really? I’d totally forgotten!”) and I’m pretty excited about it. I mean, I also ate a regrettable amount of baked goods at work, topped off with a chocolate and caramel covered apple (on a stick), which has made me feel a bit jittery, like my heart is pinging off the inside of my rib cage. This probably has a lot to do with my feeling of excitement, if I’m being honest.

In any case, we’ve done all of the Halloween things. We carved a pumpkin (it’s a cat), bought candy (Lord, that stuff’s expensive), and I finally chose a costume to wear to work today. I thought I was going to be a selfie, but the cardboard was hard to find. Instead, I went as an asparagus.

You’re probably thinking a lot of things right now, including why, how, and what? Well, it started last night when we were making dinner. I turned to Julia and said,”Julia, what should I be for Halloween?” And Julia, who was admittedly cooking asparagus at that time, said “asparagus”. So I went as a asparagus. I mean, basically it was just a hat made out of green bristol board and green items of clothing, but it was pretty excellent, even if I say so myself. There are a lot of scantily-clad cop costumes out there, but there aren’t a whole lot of asparagus costumes. You know what that makes me? Unique. Uniquely ridiculous.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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