Today, the mayor of Toronto, the fourth largest city in North America, admitted to having smoked crack cocaine. But don’t worry guys, he followed it up with the defence that it was probably in a “drunken stupor” about a year ago. OH YES, much better. Most people just eat a lot of poutine when in a drunken stupor, but you know, I guess crack works too.

It’s actually just the most ridiculous charade, and living quite close to Toronto, it’s all I’m hearing about right now. Not that I’m exactly complaining though because I’m following along with rapt incredulity. Is this real life? Yes? Crazy! And that’s the real problem isn’t it? That this is happening in real life and is not actually a sitcom. Mayor Ford is making the former mayors of Montreal and Laval look good and they were in the mob.

The one silver lining that we can take away from all of this is that he really is most likely not an addict, as he asserts. Have you seen that physique? Exactly.

~ Julia Maurice Sabre-Ocean

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