Monthly Archives: December 2013

Let’s Talk About…Careless Whisper

Today, we’ve decided to discuss something entirely inane. If you haven’t heard George Michael’s “Careless Whisper”, you should probably watch the video now, partially because it will help you understand this, but also simply because you should just watch it.

Hilary: I’ve decided that, in “Best Song Ever”, when they say that they danced all night to the best song ever, they were definitely talking about “Careless Whisper”. There’s just no other option.

Julia: I’m sorry, are you actually trying to tell me right now that the literal best song ever is Careless Whisper? That is a bold statement, sir.

Hilary: I am trying to tell you that One Direction clearly must’ve danced all night to Careless Whisper, which they call the best song ever. I think it’s a statement just bold enough.

Julia: Ah, I see. But then that prompts a follow up question: how do you know it’s Careless Whisper and not Beethoven’s 5th?

Hilary: Because how could it not be Careless Whisper?

Julia: It could actually be anything but Careless Whisper. It could be Tibetan Monks quietly humming the Brady Bunch theme tune. Unless you know that One Direction collectively thinks that Careless Whisper is in fact the best song ever, or unless you’re willing to argue yourself that Careless Whisper is in fact the best song ever, then it could be anything, couldn’t it?

Hilary: Tbh, I think it’s a fantastic song. Its comedic value is through the roof. So much ‘80s saxophone. It makes me so happy. Also, the lines “I’m never going to dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm” are both incredibly dumb and utterly hilarious.

Julia: Oh Careless Whisper is indeed a musical gem, but I feel like I like it ironically, which is probably not what George had in mind when he wrote it. Guilty feet are the worst, perhaps second only to guilty elbows.

Hilary: Or shameful shoulders and morose shins.

In completely other unrelated news, Julia, while discussing the fudge our roommate made, said “I’m committing to fudge. It’s my life partner and I love it. Julia + Fudge 4ever”. We are ridiculous.

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I heard Hoobastank on the radio, and now I question everything

So a little while ago I was at the dentist’s office, having my teeth cleaned by a lovely dental hygienist who is very understanding about my flossing habits but also tends to hum along with the muzak being piped into the office. She refrains from viciously hacking at my gums with steely instruments, but she has questionable taste in music. It’s a bit of a trade-off.  Anyways, we’re calmly listening to infuriatingly zen elevator music, and I’m trying to go to my happy place (where I don’t have somebody else’s fingers crammed in my mouth), when “The Reason” by Hoobastank comes on. 

What the heck?

This song came out in 2004 and was instantly the worst thing that ever happened to the world. That was overly harsh. I apologize. But, do you like “The Reason” by Hoobastank? Do you have any friends who do? Yes, exactly, me neither. At the time it was overwhelmingly mind boggling how the song became so outrageously popular when it was so widely disliked. But now, what’s even more puzzling and frankly troubling, is that it’s STILL being played on the radio, nine years later. I was under the impression that “The Reason” was universally regarded as the worst noise to ever pass itself off as music. I think I might have been wrong, and now I’m not sure how I feel about this world in which we live. I’m just not sure.

~ Julia Maurice Sabre-Ocean

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Jason Derulooooooo!

I’ve just seen this new Jason Derulo music video. First of all, I would like to say that I’m quite pleased he’s stopped shouting out his own name. On the other hand, now he’s found someone else to do it for him, so I’m less pleased about that.

It looks like the video was shot in Dr. Suess’ house with Liberace’s furniture. But also a little bit like they borrowed a green screen from The Lion King for the dance numbers.

Never has there been more seductive trumpet playing.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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These are actually the best t-shirts ever

Never in the whole entire world have better shirts existed. Litographs prints the entirety of beautiful books onto shirts, posters and tote bags, while donating one new, high quality book to communities in need with every purchase. The shirts are so cool, I’m not even sure which one(s) I want. GIVE ME ALL THE SHIRTS!

Originally, I thought the Sherlock shirt was my favourite

Originally, I thought the Sherlock shirt was my favourite

But how awesome is the Edgar Allen Poe shirt?

But how awesome is the Edgar Allen Poe shirt?

And the Moby Dick shirt is just beautiful.

And the Moby Dick shirt is just beautiful.

But so is the Leaves of Grass shirt. Almost as beautiful as Whitman's writing itself

But so is the Leaves of Grass shirt. Almost as beautiful as Whitman’s writing itself

But I think my favourite would have to be Hamlet. Spooky!

But I think my favourite would have to be Hamlet. Spooky!

Check out Litograph’s website for even more shirts, and how to order: http://www.litographs.com/

~ Julia Maurice Sabre-Ocean

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