Tag Archives: Chris Harrison

“It’s ok”: a post brought to you by The Bachelor

Well that got dramatic.

Tonight were the overnight dates in St. Lucia, and everything started off in typical Bachelor fashion. J. Pabs and Clare lounged on yacht, Andi and Juan sat by a waterfall, and Nikki and Juan Pablo rode horses down the beach. Typical Harlequin romance book cover type activities. Apart from Nikki’s absolutely astounding amount of cleavage, nothing too out of the ordinary. All three women went up to the Fantasy Suites and Juan Pablo got all starry-eyed over each of them.

Andi however had had enough. While last week she was excited by the prospect of falling for Juan Pablo, this week she realized that he doesn’t even know her at all. She felt that he didn’t ask her any questions about herself, that he didn’t know any of her important core values, and essentially, that this wasn’t turning into a real relationship, he was just having fun and didn’t actually care about her as a person. Well, yeah that sounds about right.

So she decides to go home, because this is not the sort of relationship she wants to be in. She breaks up with Juan Pablo and lets him know that she doesn’t see a future with him and that she feels like he doesn’t know her at all, doesn’t even really care about her. He says, “that’s ok” and that he understands her viewpoint, appreciates her honesty, and that if she’s not feeling it, he can’t make her stay.

This is where Andi should have cut her losses, given him a hug, gotten the heck out, and badmouthed him in her on-camera interview. But instead she takes offence to him saying that it’s ok because it just reinforces how very little he cares about her. It devolves into a very messy argument wherein Andi’s upset and trying to get straight answers out of Juan and where Juan simply says, shhh it’s ok, over and over and over. Honestly it was a bit exhausting, though a bit exciting. It gets especially good when Andi calls him out for being disrespectful for talking about his other overnight dates with her, and for saying that she only got through to this round “by default.” Defending himself, Juan Pablo says, “No, I said that you barely made it through to this round,” because somehow that’s better, and essentially says that it’s her fault if she’s insulted by his honesty. Eventually, when she realizes that she can’t have a spirited debate with Juan Pablo, as was apparently her hope, she packs up and leaves.

Juan says that he found the argument disappointing and that even if Andi asked to stay he wouldn’t let her. The whole point was that she didn’t want to stay, bud.

In the end, Clare and Nikki, arch-enemies forever, get the final two roses. At this point we hope Clare wins, partially because you can tell  by her crazy eyes how much she wants this, partially because they actually seem to enjoy each other and partially because she talks so much about her family and her dad that she might be the only one that Juan Pablo knows anything about.

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“You’re not respecting Momma!”: A post brought to you by The Bachelor

Well, we’re back, just in time for this week’s two part special! I won’t lie to you, this first part was awfully boring.

This week we saw hometown dates. First up is Aiiii Neekee Neekee. She takes Juan Pablo to a barbeque place and then they ride a mechanical bull. It’s all incredibly fascinating. Then, he meets her parents and has a lovely dinner with her family. He doesn’t outright ask for her parents’ blessing, but they do say that they trust Nicki completely and they support her in whatever decision she makes. Honestly, it was just that boring.

Next, J. Pabs heads to Andi’s hometown. She takes him to the shooting range and she gets a bulls-eye on her very first try. Needless to say, I think we’re all a bit terrified of Andi. Not only is she rather emotionally insecure but she’s armed and dangerous. Then it’s Juan Pablo’s turn and we can’t help but feel like it was a terrible idea to arm this man. Andi says that he can’t come home with her unless he hits a bulls-eye which I think is an odd standard. I’d say that he couldn’t come home with me unless he started respecting women or changed his views on marriage equality but I guess that’s just me.

Back at the range they have a lovely dinner with Andi’s family and her also very pretty sister. We’ve got the sort of Kate and Pippa Middleton effect happening here where we’re not quite sure which sister is prettier. Andi gushes to her family about all the wonderful adventures she’s been having with Juan and her dad is being a total Debbie Downer pointing out that the whole time they’ve been going on group dates. Literally, she’s had one one-on-one date with the man and she thinks she’s ready to get married to him? They’ve spent like a second together! We can’t help but agree with her dad. Later, J. Pabs attempts to ask her dad for his blessing, in a rather roundabout way, saying “if we get to that point, then would you welcome me to your family?” and the dad essentially says that they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it. Only he says it in a far more intimidating way so that Juan visibly shrinks back and says “ok, great.” Is it great Juan Pablo? IS it?

Next, Juan Pablo heads to Renee’s hometown and meets her son, who is just as precious as we could have imagined. I think it’s no secret that we’re essentially totally in love with Renee and her cutie kid just upped the ante. Also, I swear, she just keeps getting more beautiful. Her makeup was so minimal, and her hair was totally blah, and yet she was radiant.

Ok. I’ll stop gushing about Renee.

Renee and J. Pabs settle down to watch her son’s baseball game and then head to her parents’ house for dinner. I don’t know what it is about Renee – her maturity, her calm, lovely presence – but Juan Pablo is just so much less aggravating around her. She honestly brings out the best in him. It must be exhausting for her. J. Pabs chats with Renee’s bro and her dad while Renee and her mum have a wonderful heart-to-heart where her mum just gushes about how she wants Renee to be happy. We do too, we do too.

Finally, Juan meets up with Clare and her crazy eyes. They go for a walk as Clare talks more about her dad, and then they go over to her Momma’s house for dinner. She has a million sisters and they all seem to have a touch of the crazy. There’s a very, very odd incident where Laura won’t leave Clare or Juan alone with Momma and insists on speaking for her as if she’s some sort of interpreter. It turns out that Momma can indeed speak English and totally welcomes Juan into the family, so we have no idea what that was about. If anything, Laura might be crazier than Clare. Clare reacted to the whole thing like a calm, collected adult, and whined a bit and then cried, saying that nobody wanted to see her happy. Just ridiculous.

Finally the madness ended with the rose ceremony, where Juan sent Renee home.

I’m sorry, WHAT? She’s the best thing that ever happened to him!

On second thought, we’re actually rather glad that she’s managed to escape Juan Pablo’s clutches. RENEE FOR BACHELORETTE!

Renee leaves graciously saying that it wasn’t meant to be, and that she really does hope that she can find somebody to complete her family. I’m going to miss that woman. Honestly. #ReneeforBachelorette !

Stay tuned for another post tomorrow when drama goes down in the fantasy suite! Oooh la la!


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This Bachelor Might Be the Best Ever

Well, folks, it’s Monday night and no Bachelorette. I can’t say I’m terribly upset; I personally found most of Des’ season quite painful. She was not my most favourite of people and none of the men were that fantastic. That having been said, I’m glad she chose Chris, poetry aside. Continue reading

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“Please tell me someone has died”: A Post Brought to You By The Bachelorette

I can sum up this episode in two words: tears and comfortableness. Essentially, it’s all incredibly frustrating, which is why you’ll all be glad you came here to read this instead of having to sit through the agony that is watching it yourself. You’re welcome. Continue reading

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The Men Tell All: miscommunications and hurt feelings

Last night was the “very special edition” of the Men Tell All, but the only thing special about it was that it managed to be even more boring than years past. Continue reading

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Catching up

Yesterday was Canada Day for us Cannucks, so Hil and I took the day off and head to the beach with our sister-in-law Jess and got a solid hour and a half of sun before it became overcast and quite chilly. An adventure nonetheless! But today, we’re back in business, as you can tell by Hilary’s blog below about poor Ace Knute (pronounced Ka-nute, yes, shameful) Johnson. And since nothing since the birth of North West could top such a ridiculous name, I’m going to chat about last night’s Bachelorette and generally catch you all up. Continue reading

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I want a love that can light the darkness: a post brought to you by The Bachelorette

This week kicks off the travelling! The first stop: Atlantic City. Ben Flajnik took his dates to Switzerland – I feel disappointed. Continue reading

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“This is a caged match of death!” Oh wait, it’s just dodgeball. (A post brought to you by The Bachelorette)

Date one: Group date one

Brandon wears an orange sweatband to play dodge ball. I think that that’s all I need to say about that. Continue reading

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WEEEEE’RE BACK! It’s Bachelorette season once again

Are you guys ready? It’s season one million and six of the Bachelorette, starring Des Hartstock (or something.) We’re three minutes in and not only has Des already cried, but Hilary is already irritated by Des. I take this to mean that this is going to be an amazing season. To be fair Des just said that she thinks that she’s Cinderella in the flesh, so perhaps the irritation is not unfounded. I’m not entirely sure what’s happening to The Bachelor franchise, perhaps because now that we all know that the chances of the romance lasting are very slim, they’ve decided they have to up the ante in other ways. And those ways are making the whole thing a giant Mary-Kate and Ashley film. We see Des get car keys to a baby blue Bentley convertible, go roller skating in a bikini top, and chase seagulls along the beach, all to her very own cheesy soundtrack. Continue reading

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