It’s award season! Here are the highlights from the Golden Globes, according to Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet, our glorious friend Nicole, and me.
The unofficial award for best bangs goes to: Anne Hathaway. Now that her Fantine-shorn hair has grown out sufficiently she has extremely lovely hair. Thank the lord the beautiful Jennifer Lawrence pulled her bangs back into an updo. She was rocking unfortunate bangs for far too long.
The unofficial award for best family moment goes to: Denzel Washington and his date, his daughter Olivia. She called him a nerd, and they have the same laugh. Bless. Though, a close runner up would be Don Cheadle introducing Mr. Golden Globe – it’s Michael J. Fox’s son and he could not be a more mini version of his dad. HE’S SO PRECIOUS!
The unofficial award for best hair goes to:
Female: Dame Helen Mirren. LOVE the curls!
Male: Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s got it quite dark, and does a great side part. Great side part indeed.
Best intro line: “Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat faced people of TV.” No word of a lie, I laughed until my stomach hurt at Amy Poehler and Tina Fey’s intro. It might have actually been the most genuinely funny thing I’ve seen on TV in a long time.
Best line of the whole show: Tina – “Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son. She needs some me time to learn about herself!”
Jodie Foster. What the hell is this speech? She accepts an award, she thanks everyone for it, and then goes on an extreme rant about wanting people to respect her privacy. It’s great when the camera pans to the crowd and you see people’s faces just completely agape, like Mel Gibson. This speech started off great, COMPLETELY lost us in the middle, but she found her way back eventually. It’s heartfelt, it’s rambling, it’s funny, it’s completely disorganized and it never ends. Single most confusing speech I’ve ever heard.
And the big winners are:
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Best Motion Picture – Drama
Best Actor in a motion picture: Comedy or Musical
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Best Actress in a motion picture: Comedy or Musical
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Actor in a motion picture: Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Best Actress in a motion picture: Drama
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Best Supporting Actor in a motion picture
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Best supporting actress in a motion picture
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Director, Motion Picture
Ben Affleck, Argo
Best Actor, TV Series: Drama
Damian Lewis, Homeland
Best Actress, TV Series Drama
Claire Danes, Homeland
Best Actor in a TV series: Comedy
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Best Actress in a TV series: Comedy
Lena Dunham, Girls
Best TV Series – Drama
Best TV Series – Comedy or Musical
Original Song: Motion Picture
Skyfall by Adele. AS IF there would be anybody else!
Other highlights: Game Change won a lot of awards. Like a lot. As did Homeland.
Sarcasm Soapbox’s Best Dressed:
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They had multiple amazing outfits, but the gowns they worn in the beginning of the show were my favourite.
Sarcasm Soapbox’s Worst Dressed:
Eva Longoria. What was that dress/body suit combo? Look at your life, look at your choices.
Halle Berry. One word: Uniboob.