Tag Archives: music

Let’s Talk About…Careless Whisper

Today, we’ve decided to discuss something entirely inane. If you haven’t heard George Michael’s “Careless Whisper”, you should probably watch the video now, partially because it will help you understand this, but also simply because you should just watch it.

Hilary: I’ve decided that, in “Best Song Ever”, when they say that they danced all night to the best song ever, they were definitely talking about “Careless Whisper”. There’s just no other option.

Julia: I’m sorry, are you actually trying to tell me right now that the literal best song ever is Careless Whisper? That is a bold statement, sir.

Hilary: I am trying to tell you that One Direction clearly must’ve danced all night to Careless Whisper, which they call the best song ever. I think it’s a statement just bold enough.

Julia: Ah, I see. But then that prompts a follow up question: how do you know it’s Careless Whisper and not Beethoven’s 5th?

Hilary: Because how could it not be Careless Whisper?

Julia: It could actually be anything but Careless Whisper. It could be Tibetan Monks quietly humming the Brady Bunch theme tune. Unless you know that One Direction collectively thinks that Careless Whisper is in fact the best song ever, or unless you’re willing to argue yourself that Careless Whisper is in fact the best song ever, then it could be anything, couldn’t it?

Hilary: Tbh, I think it’s a fantastic song. Its comedic value is through the roof. So much ‘80s saxophone. It makes me so happy. Also, the lines “I’m never going to dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm” are both incredibly dumb and utterly hilarious.

Julia: Oh Careless Whisper is indeed a musical gem, but I feel like I like it ironically, which is probably not what George had in mind when he wrote it. Guilty feet are the worst, perhaps second only to guilty elbows.

Hilary: Or shameful shoulders and morose shins.

In completely other unrelated news, Julia, while discussing the fudge our roommate made, said “I’m committing to fudge. It’s my life partner and I love it. Julia + Fudge 4ever”. We are ridiculous.

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I heard Hoobastank on the radio, and now I question everything

So a little while ago I was at the dentist’s office, having my teeth cleaned by a lovely dental hygienist who is very understanding about my flossing habits but also tends to hum along with the muzak being piped into the office. She refrains from viciously hacking at my gums with steely instruments, but she has questionable taste in music. It’s a bit of a trade-off.  Anyways, we’re calmly listening to infuriatingly zen elevator music, and I’m trying to go to my happy place (where I don’t have somebody else’s fingers crammed in my mouth), when “The Reason” by Hoobastank comes on. 

What the heck?

This song came out in 2004 and was instantly the worst thing that ever happened to the world. That was overly harsh. I apologize. But, do you like “The Reason” by Hoobastank? Do you have any friends who do? Yes, exactly, me neither. At the time it was overwhelmingly mind boggling how the song became so outrageously popular when it was so widely disliked. But now, what’s even more puzzling and frankly troubling, is that it’s STILL being played on the radio, nine years later. I was under the impression that “The Reason” was universally regarded as the worst noise to ever pass itself off as music. I think I might have been wrong, and now I’m not sure how I feel about this world in which we live. I’m just not sure.

~ Julia Maurice Sabre-Ocean

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Jason Derulooooooo!

I’ve just seen this new Jason Derulo music video. First of all, I would like to say that I’m quite pleased he’s stopped shouting out his own name. On the other hand, now he’s found someone else to do it for him, so I’m less pleased about that.

It looks like the video was shot in Dr. Suess’ house with Liberace’s furniture. But also a little bit like they borrowed a green screen from The Lion King for the dance numbers.

Never has there been more seductive trumpet playing.

~ Hilary Lyon Axle Hatchet

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Let’s Talk About: One Direction’s Newest Album

One Direction officially released their third album, Midnight Memories, yesterday (it had been leaked way earlier than that) and we have been listening to it quite a lot since. Obviously.

Hilary: I quite like Little Black Dress.  It sounds remarkably like something Bruce Springsteen would’ve sung (in 1987) and I think we can all agree that Bruce Springsteen is awesome.

Julia: He is awesome! At first when I was listening to the full album I found it kind of disconcerting because it was so all over the place – there were 80s rock songs, folk songs, and pop songs – and it was possibly the least cohesive album I’ve ever heard. I was a bit worried that this was them, growing up a bit, trying to find their sound and failing. But when we learned that they co-wrote the majority of the songs on the album, it makes more sense! Harry and Nial wrote the folk songs, Louis and Liam wrote the 80s rock songs (who would have thought?) and the pop songs were written for them. It just makes so much more sense now.

Hilary: It really does. Zayn, it appears, had little to no involvement in the writing process. Do you know what Zayn has been doing? According to this article on Buzzfeed, he’s been tackling the overwhelming and thrilling challenge of bringing turtlenecks back to style. I have to admit, he does wear a turtleneck well. It’s really quite unusual because I have rarely seen a man in a turtleneck who was not fifty-seven and also wearing either a beret or a tweed jacket with elbow patches.

Julia: Wow, Zayn. What a spectacular use of time. He actually does look rather dapper though. And perhaps we wouldn’t have wanted him to write any of the songs because he can be notoriously moody!

Hilary: Well that’s true. I don’t want to just be depressed for the entire album. I think my favourite song by far is Happily and mostly because it’s delightfully folky. I swear there’s a banjo in there somewhere, which is remarkable for a boy band. 98° never did that! Or possibly they did. I don’t know, I never really listened to them.

Julia: There definitely is banjo in there, and I of course love it as well. Never once did O-Town play the banjo, for which we can all be extremely grateful. There are a lot of songs on this album that I think if you didn’t know it they were by 1D you wouldn’t guess that to be the case. Some, for example sound like Whitesnake. Not necessarily ideal, still enjoyable. Some like “Diana” make literally no sense at all, until you decide it’s about a cardiologist. “Let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes,/You’ve been lonely,/You don’t even know me,/But I can feel you crying,/Diana,/Let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life,/ I don’t think you even realize baby you’d be saving mine.” It’s so obviously about a cardiologist. If it’s not, it makes no sense at all.

Hilary: I didn’t like that song at first, but then I listened to it with the new-found knowledge that it is being sung from the perspective of a lonely cardiologist and now I love it (or at least like it slightly better than I did previously; love is a very strong word). I mean, clearly Diana is a very lonely woman with a heart condition in which her heart has fallen. This is why he’s lifting it up and consequently saving her life. And she’s obviously crying because she’s alone. And also probably having someone physically lift up your heart is quite painful.

Julia: I think it takes a lot of creativity to sing about lonely cardiologists. While still super catchy and fun, I find the lyrics to Alive deeply troubling. I honestly think that the person they’re singing about might have a mental illness and just because it makes you feel alive does not actually mean it’s ok. I can think of SO many examples where that is absolutely untrue. Heroin for one.

Hilary: I just looked up the lyrics. Judging by the first verse alone, the song is 100% about sex addictions. Also, this therapist they’re consulting should have her licence revoked. You do no say to someone who is asking why they want to be with every girl they meet, “it’s fine so long as you feel like you’re alive”. Terrible advice. Terrible, terrible advice. Also, for all the young ladies out there (and some of the older ladies as well, tbh), don’t let some guy talk you into doing something just because he swears it’ll make you “feel alive” even if he is Zayn Malik in a turtleneck. I mean, if you want to do, go for it, that’s your prerogative (just like Bobby Brown). But if you don’t, feeling alive is not a good enough reason to abandon all of your personal values.

Julia: Good, solid advice. The seductive powers of a turtleneck know no ends. RESIST!

Hilary: Well, the seductive powers of a turtleneck on Zayn knows no ends. It think there are definite ends to the seductive powers of a turtleneck on, say, Jack Nicholson. Or my grade eleven chemistry teacher. Her turtlenecks did not make crucibles anymore thrilling than they already were (re: weren’t).

But seriously, how much does the beginning of this song sound like Jesse’s Girl? A lot is the answer.

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Indie rock lullaby

Rat/dog strikes again! This week it has decided to become nocturnal and frolic all night above my bed. I’m happy you’re happy rat/dog, but actually, I hate you. So, I’ve been putting in my headphones and drifting off to some beautiful music. In case you have a rat/dog in your life: Continue reading

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This Cyrus Mash-up Cover Might Just Make Your Monday

Well, it has been a long time, and I apologize profusely. But I have returned! And I bring you excellent things!

This Miley Cyrus cover is both ridiculous and fantastic all at once. It has violins and Billy Ray Cyrus, but still manages to be excellent. Enjoy! Continue reading

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This song made my day

My most favourite band in the whole entire world is absolutely the Shout Out Louds (though only by a hair these days because the Jungle Giants are just so super great too), and today I learned that Ted, from SOL, has released a couple EPs with his wife, under the name A Nighthawk. They’re just brilliant as anything associated with the Shout Out Louds would be. I highly suggest you check them out; this song made my day. Continue reading

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R. Kelly and Lady Gaga: The Weirdest Pairing Since Pickles and Peanut Butter

Lady Gaga’s new song is called “Do What U Want” and it features R. Kelly. If you want to check it out, there’s an audio of it in this Buzzfeed article. Continue reading

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Car Singing: Hanson Should Always Be Involved

On Friday night (technically Saturday morning), while driving home from a friends’ house at a very early morning hour, I experienced what was undoubtedly the best car sing-along session of my life. It started with a heartfelt rendition of “Colours of the Wind” and ended with the most glorious “Bohemian Rhapsody” duet I’ve ever heard in real life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvvZ1TEQRB8 Continue reading

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Horrible. Unfortunate. Regrettable. Chavril.

It’s finally happened, guys. The moment I think we were all hoping would never come has in fact come. Avril Lavigne and hubby Chad Kroeger have made a song. There is a Chavril duet. Continue reading

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