Tag Archives: One Direction

Let’s Talk About…Careless Whisper

Today, we’ve decided to discuss something entirely inane. If you haven’t heard George Michael’s “Careless Whisper”, you should probably watch the video now, partially because it will help you understand this, but also simply because you should just watch it.

Hilary: I’ve decided that, in “Best Song Ever”, when they say that they danced all night to the best song ever, they were definitely talking about “Careless Whisper”. There’s just no other option.

Julia: I’m sorry, are you actually trying to tell me right now that the literal best song ever is Careless Whisper? That is a bold statement, sir.

Hilary: I am trying to tell you that One Direction clearly must’ve danced all night to Careless Whisper, which they call the best song ever. I think it’s a statement just bold enough.

Julia: Ah, I see. But then that prompts a follow up question: how do you know it’s Careless Whisper and not Beethoven’s 5th?

Hilary: Because how could it not be Careless Whisper?

Julia: It could actually be anything but Careless Whisper. It could be Tibetan Monks quietly humming the Brady Bunch theme tune. Unless you know that One Direction collectively thinks that Careless Whisper is in fact the best song ever, or unless you’re willing to argue yourself that Careless Whisper is in fact the best song ever, then it could be anything, couldn’t it?

Hilary: Tbh, I think it’s a fantastic song. Its comedic value is through the roof. So much ‘80s saxophone. It makes me so happy. Also, the lines “I’m never going to dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm” are both incredibly dumb and utterly hilarious.

Julia: Oh Careless Whisper is indeed a musical gem, but I feel like I like it ironically, which is probably not what George had in mind when he wrote it. Guilty feet are the worst, perhaps second only to guilty elbows.

Hilary: Or shameful shoulders and morose shins.

In completely other unrelated news, Julia, while discussing the fudge our roommate made, said “I’m committing to fudge. It’s my life partner and I love it. Julia + Fudge 4ever”. We are ridiculous.

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Let’s Talk About: One Direction’s Newest Album

One Direction officially released their third album, Midnight Memories, yesterday (it had been leaked way earlier than that) and we have been listening to it quite a lot since. Obviously.

Hilary: I quite like Little Black Dress.  It sounds remarkably like something Bruce Springsteen would’ve sung (in 1987) and I think we can all agree that Bruce Springsteen is awesome.

Julia: He is awesome! At first when I was listening to the full album I found it kind of disconcerting because it was so all over the place – there were 80s rock songs, folk songs, and pop songs – and it was possibly the least cohesive album I’ve ever heard. I was a bit worried that this was them, growing up a bit, trying to find their sound and failing. But when we learned that they co-wrote the majority of the songs on the album, it makes more sense! Harry and Nial wrote the folk songs, Louis and Liam wrote the 80s rock songs (who would have thought?) and the pop songs were written for them. It just makes so much more sense now.

Hilary: It really does. Zayn, it appears, had little to no involvement in the writing process. Do you know what Zayn has been doing? According to this article on Buzzfeed, he’s been tackling the overwhelming and thrilling challenge of bringing turtlenecks back to style. I have to admit, he does wear a turtleneck well. It’s really quite unusual because I have rarely seen a man in a turtleneck who was not fifty-seven and also wearing either a beret or a tweed jacket with elbow patches.

Julia: Wow, Zayn. What a spectacular use of time. He actually does look rather dapper though. And perhaps we wouldn’t have wanted him to write any of the songs because he can be notoriously moody!

Hilary: Well that’s true. I don’t want to just be depressed for the entire album. I think my favourite song by far is Happily and mostly because it’s delightfully folky. I swear there’s a banjo in there somewhere, which is remarkable for a boy band. 98° never did that! Or possibly they did. I don’t know, I never really listened to them.

Julia: There definitely is banjo in there, and I of course love it as well. Never once did O-Town play the banjo, for which we can all be extremely grateful. There are a lot of songs on this album that I think if you didn’t know it they were by 1D you wouldn’t guess that to be the case. Some, for example sound like Whitesnake. Not necessarily ideal, still enjoyable. Some like “Diana” make literally no sense at all, until you decide it’s about a cardiologist. “Let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes,/You’ve been lonely,/You don’t even know me,/But I can feel you crying,/Diana,/Let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life,/ I don’t think you even realize baby you’d be saving mine.” It’s so obviously about a cardiologist. If it’s not, it makes no sense at all.

Hilary: I didn’t like that song at first, but then I listened to it with the new-found knowledge that it is being sung from the perspective of a lonely cardiologist and now I love it (or at least like it slightly better than I did previously; love is a very strong word). I mean, clearly Diana is a very lonely woman with a heart condition in which her heart has fallen. This is why he’s lifting it up and consequently saving her life. And she’s obviously crying because she’s alone. And also probably having someone physically lift up your heart is quite painful.

Julia: I think it takes a lot of creativity to sing about lonely cardiologists. While still super catchy and fun, I find the lyrics to Alive deeply troubling. I honestly think that the person they’re singing about might have a mental illness and just because it makes you feel alive does not actually mean it’s ok. I can think of SO many examples where that is absolutely untrue. Heroin for one.

Hilary: I just looked up the lyrics. Judging by the first verse alone, the song is 100% about sex addictions. Also, this therapist they’re consulting should have her licence revoked. You do no say to someone who is asking why they want to be with every girl they meet, “it’s fine so long as you feel like you’re alive”. Terrible advice. Terrible, terrible advice. Also, for all the young ladies out there (and some of the older ladies as well, tbh), don’t let some guy talk you into doing something just because he swears it’ll make you “feel alive” even if he is Zayn Malik in a turtleneck. I mean, if you want to do, go for it, that’s your prerogative (just like Bobby Brown). But if you don’t, feeling alive is not a good enough reason to abandon all of your personal values.

Julia: Good, solid advice. The seductive powers of a turtleneck know no ends. RESIST!

Hilary: Well, the seductive powers of a turtleneck on Zayn knows no ends. It think there are definite ends to the seductive powers of a turtleneck on, say, Jack Nicholson. Or my grade eleven chemistry teacher. Her turtlenecks did not make crucibles anymore thrilling than they already were (re: weren’t).

But seriously, how much does the beginning of this song sound like Jesse’s Girl? A lot is the answer.

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This Has Perhaps Gone Too Far…

I really, really like One Direction. It’s embarrassing, but I can’t help it. On the weekend, Julia and I watched some One Direction music videos with our roommate Dominique, who is probably about 80% to blame for my unfortunate addiction to this boy band (it’s okay because I’m 100% to blame for her Candy Crush addiction). We watched them after also watching Miley Cyrus’s “We Can’t Stop” and “Wrecking Ball” as well as Christina Aguilera’s “Dirty”. It’s an odd selection of music, I’ll admit. They’re also very, very different. “Dirty” occurred during X-Tina’s perhaps most intense face. Her hair is slightly cornrowed, which is never really a good look for a white person, and she’s wearing bum-less chaps, which is also not a spectacularly good look for most people (she’s not not pulling it off, though). And I’m sure you’ve all seen the Miley Cyrus videos at this point, so I’m not even going to touch on either of them, except to say giant teddy bear backpacks, an interesting style choice. Continue reading

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It’s Time For Another Radio Rant

I recently bought my very first car. It’s from 1997 and it used to belong to a 97 year old man, but it’s new to me. My manager Febreezed the hell out of it for me and now it smells like an elderly man in a citrus grove. Very nice. Continue reading

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What I’ve Been Listening To

This has been an excellent two weeks music-wise for me. ALL the good things came out and I’m really excited about all of it. Seriously, I dance in my car on the way to work every morning now that I a) don’t have to listen to the radio, and b) I get to listen to magical, magical things. Continue reading

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In defense of One Direction (or at the very least, ID’s PR team)

On the weekend, a couple of us went to go see the One Direction movie. Cinematic genius it was not, so yes, you may feel free to judge me all you want. That’s cool. I get it. Continue reading

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I Think Literally EVERYONE Saw This Coming

As I’m sure you’re well aware by this point, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles have broken up. According to this article, Harry “gave her the elbow”. What? Is that a saying? I’m not sure it is. “Giving someone the elbow” suggests, at least to me, that you have literally and physically elbowed someone. Maybe Harry did actually elbow Taylor. We’ll probably never know [at this point, I should mention again that I do not know that Harry Styles ever actually elbowed Taylor Swift. This is how rumours get started. By people who pray at the altar of the literal]. Continue reading

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It’s Fine, Fruit Really Isn’t That Interesting

Since starting up this blog almost a year ago, I’ve had a lot of people tell me that they read it. Okay, “a lot of people” makes me sound arrogant. Not really a lot. A decent amount. People read it, alright? Sheesh. Yes, some of them are only looking for every picture of One Direction that can be found on the internet and an alarming number are simply interested in the mysterious moles of Jennifer Love-Hewitt. That’s fine. I respect both of those things (not really, but let’s pretend). Continue reading

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And the Tweendom Explodes

Taylor Swift is dating Harry Styles of One Direction (as if you don’t know who that is). I think that this might actually cause the tween fandom to explode with excitement. On top of that, it appears Taylor and Harry have spent one of their first public dates at a zoo. If tweens everywhere manage to contain their unbridled excitement for a Swift-One Direction match up, they will be completely lost to the cuteness power of seals. If you’d like to see some pictures, check out this article here. Continue reading

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