Tag Archives: Paris Hilton

How to Name Your Children Part Two: Exotic Locations

I was talking to my friend Carolyn last night about the recent trend of naming your child after exotic locations. All the Dakotas, the Denvers, the Brooklyns, the Londons… Once again, I place most of the blame on celebrities. Thanks, Paris Hilton’s parents. They’re not entirely to blame, though, because Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon named one of their twins Morocco. Continue reading

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Boiled Cabbage, Vanessa Hudgens, and the Voice of God

Last night at dance, my friend Mike so very kindly told me that there is a video somewhere out there on the internet of a camel spider eating a whole lizard. This is not something I ever want to see. EVER. And I mean it, so don’t go posting this video on my facebook wall or hiding behind corners with your laptop at the ready to surprise/terrify me. Continue reading

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Modesty is not a virtue. It’s common sense.

A lot of starlets have been caught without knickers on, on camera no less, and how embarrassing for them! But that can be solved easily, by following Hilary’s pact and wearing underwear at all times, and never letting it leave your body when in public. I think it would be extremely embarrassing for someone to snap a photo of your polkadot unders, but I think it would be even more embarrassing to have a photo snapped of what is UNDER those unders. Continue reading

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